“Abhi Tum Bacche Ho!”, Here’s How Indian Parents Use The Word ‘Kid’ To Manipulate Their Children!
Having a sense of control over your life is very essential as you’re growing up. This gives us a sense of autonomy and independence which is beyond priceless. But, if you’re a brown kid, I don’t think you relate to this part, do you? Most of our parents have been beyond just helicopter-zoned for ages and they also try to manipulate us ‘for our own good’. Indian parents, huh?
If you’ve ever heard your parents tell you that ‘you’re still a kid’ or ‘Are you still a kid?’, you have officially been made a victim of the worst and yet, most common parental manipulation technique, ever. On the occasion of World Youth Day, let’s talk about this beautiful manipulation technique and how it’s literally been screwing up our lives for ages. Indian parents, we see you!
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So, What Exactly Is This Technique?
You see, most Indian parents have this toxic trait i.e. they tend to play fast and loose with the word ‘kid’ for a very long time. They don’t associate being a grown-up with a particular age. Instead, they tend to believe that you’re always a kid to them which is precisely why we’re told that we’re still kids when we ask to do literally, anything. The last time it was used on me was when I asked to go on a trip with my friends. But apparently, I’m still a kid so, that’s not a good idea.
This ‘kid-ism’ however, vanishes in some moments. This is when they need to you stop doing something. Wait till a moment when Indian parents catch you doing something they despise or find wrong, and then suddenly, that’s when they hit you with the ‘hey, are you a kid?’ phrase i.e. they indirectly point out that you’re too ‘grown up’ for this and you should stop. Is this giving you flashbacks? I saw that coming. The funniest part however is that this manipulation technique has in fact, been running really deep, literally over generations. I mean, I’ve literally heard my grandmother use it on my mom. Sound weird, huh?
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How Is This Manipulative And Controlling?
This is one of the most controlling things that parents continue to do to their kids. They tend to also believe that they do this for ‘our own good’ but, it’s unfortunately done mostly, for selfish reasons. Parents also use this technique when they are trying to pilot their child’s life and they pull out these big guns when they feel it’s convenient.
The most basic example of the same is dating. In my case, my parents wouldn’t appreciate the fact that I was dating people because they ‘could be awful for me’ and I’m a kid who fails to understand that. But, when they introduce me to absolute strangers, there’s a method to their madness because, ‘I’m a grown-up and I have to get married someday, no?’.
This feels beyond just double standards. It feels like the most cruellest joke they could play because they continue to hamper our self-esteem and identity. This can take a massive toll on us, emotionally as well as mentally. So, how do you deal with something like this?
How To Deal With Such A Situation?
One of the most unfortunate facts here is that situations like these can be very confusing and traumatic for all of us. They can make us feel like we have no control over our lives and we can also feel out of touch with our own personalities. So, the most essential thing that we should do in situations like these is to remain calm and not let this affect us. Don’t let it affect your personal choices and identity. You’re you and you deserve to be proud of who you are. Don’t lose that, it makes you special.
Now, when it comes to dealing with parental force, it’s the easiest to calm down. Take a minute to calm yourself and sit down with them, carefully, and call them out. Let them know that you’re aware of the fact that they’re doing this and well, discuss with them how this is negatively affecting you. Help them realise that talking to you directly might be easier than playing with your existence and emotions.
As an added advantage, this can also help you guys build a much closer and more tight-knit as well as loving relationship. Isn’t that worth it?
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