What Are Daddy Issues, And Do They Really Affect Women’s Sex Lives?
We acquire a ton traits and trauma from our parents and guardians (The good ol’ nature vs nurture debate). Now, a great deal of the credit (legitimately) goes to our mother but, there’s a unique arrangement of character and hereditary qualities that come directly from our dear old fathers. And this might just include something much more complicated, like daddy issues! We’ve often heard about the ‘Daddy Issues’ jokes, and heard Barney Stinson say on HIMYM how he sets his sights on girls who have them as they are easy to manipulate. But does having a bad/absentee/neglectful father have its own negative impacts, particularly for ladies in the dating pool? Let’s find out!
What Exactly Are ‘Daddy Issues’?
Since Sigmund Freud instituted the expression “father complex” longer than a century back, our way of life has been focused on the alleged effect of our male begetters’ conduct on our lives. In pop culture, particularly, there’s an entrenched idea that a lady’s initial relationship with her father influences her sentimental and sexual life, and hence, the omnipresent idea of “daddy issues.”
In fact, researchers defined the fact that women with such issues indulge in RSB or ‘Risky Sexual Behaviour’ which is basically defined as “unprotected sex, sex in conjunction with the use of drugs or alcohol, sex with someone who injects drugs, sex with someone who is abusive, engaging in concurrent sexual relationships with different partners, and receiving compensation for engaging in sexual activity.”
Hence, it is possible that the women who were reminded of painful or disappointing experiences with their father (but not their mother) were more likely to be sexually attracted to a man who mirrored their father in any way- age, looks, personality, actions and habits etc. especially when it came to indulging into RSB with them and be attracted to their toxic behaviour. These are basically what we call daddy issues.
Do Only Women Have Daddy Issues?
Oh, hell no! But for some reason, it is subjected to a massive gender bias when it comes to women! I mean, we’re not surprised! This is actually, a bit of a head-scratcher given that Freud’s theories first focused on the relationship between father and son. But it is essential to remember that daddy issues aren’t only a female thing.
It doesn’t make a difference what sex and sexual orientation you belong to, your relationship with your parental figures will consistently have some impact on how you approach and manage your grown-up connections. In fact, sometimes the exact manner in which an individual’s issues present probably won’t appear to be identical, thus, daddy issues could really be mother, grandmother, or grandad issues for them. It can also present as something or from someone different altogether, nobody is insusceptible or immune.
How Exactly Do These Issues Affect Your Sex Life?
It’s believed that individuals might incline toward the sort of connections they’ve had in their childhood because they get used to it, this is regardless of whether it was a pained or hurtful one. On the off chance that your relationship with your parental figure was an awful or baffling one, you might be bound to pick an accomplice who will hurt and disappoint you in a similar way.
For some, it’s because that was their “norm” growing up, so, they think this relationship type is the one they deserve to have. Some might actually end up believing that they deserve it. For others, it’s an unconscious hope to get that parent’s love. Insecure attachment styles can lead to behaviour that pushes your partner away and creates the disappointing relationship you’re expecting based on your previous experiences.
Think about it, can you spot a pattern in the type of partners you choose? Are your relationships usually plagued by insecurity, anxiety, or drama? Do you keep ending up in relationships that are like déjà vu of the painful aspects of your childhood? Well, then it may be time to make a change and trade up for a healthier and better relationship. (Therapy might help you get there.)