Still Single In 2023? 8 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Chances Of Finding Love

It's time to stop sabotaging your own love life!
Still Single In 2023? 8 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Chances Of Finding Love

Love in 2023 is not an easy feat. We’re living in the times of online dating which makes it tough to form connections with people. And all of this is much tougher considering the woke times that we’re living it. With ever-evolving dating trends and toxic relationship problems, many of us are stuck single. But have you ever wondered if you might be the cause behind your roller coaster of a love life full of mediocre people? What if you are self-sabotaging your own love life and what it could be?

Sometimes we end up becoming our own enemies and unknowingly make mistakes which make it tough for us to find love and someone to call our own. This is why it is essential to spot our own red flags and self-sabotaging behaviours that could be the source of our pain and single relationship status. So, without further ado, let’s take a look at all the ways we’re self-sabotaging our love lives.

1. Dating Trends

The online dating culture has brought with it loads of new terminology and dating trends. While there’s nothing wrong with knowing about these dating trends like ghosting, love bombing, breadcrumbing and more, most of us are so caught up in figuring out these dating trends and who’s playing what game with us that we don’t give love a real chance. We’re always preparing to spot the toxic dating trend instead of giving our all to love and dating.

Also Read: How To Manifest Your Crush? 

2. Hustle Culture

Hustle culture is a real thing and most of us take pride in hustling our way to the top. Most hustlers have dedicated their lives to their work and live with little to no work-life balance. And we’re all so focused on making it to the top that we are unwilling to make the time and space in our lives for love or our loved ones for that matter. Our drive for career growth often drives us away from love more so because we refuse to welcome love.

3. Red Flags

Thanks to the internet, we’re now so much more aware of red flags and how they work. While there’s nothing wrong with being aware and alert of red flags, sadly with growing age and time, we end up focusing so much on red flags that we forget to focus on love. We have conveniently forgotten that no one is 100% perfect and red-flag-free. We just have to make peace with some red flags and understand what problems of our partner’s we can simply live with. We are quick to term every flaw as a red flag and refuse to accept someone with their flaws.

4. Wokeness

We live in woke times where we’re highly aware of our troubled past, and the present and define everything that goes wrong in our lives. We’re aware of the social issues and injustices and we’re also addressing these problems but our focus seems to have shifted to defining problems and taking up causes so much that love has taken a backseat. Even when we meet someone and date them, we end up focusing on defining problems and being woke and running away from issues instead of sorting them out like adults. And we’ve forgotten that love isn’t woke in ways where it’s 50/50. There are times when we do more than our partners or vice versa. There’s no sure-shot way of being woke in love.

5. Unrealistic Standards

Many of us are held back and are self-sabotaging our love lives because of our unrealistic standards when it comes to finding a partner. Films and books have given us fictional men who are almost perfect and we’re so focused on finding someone just like that, that we’ve set the bar too high for anyone to be able to give us what we want. We seem to have turned a blind eye to the fact that real people have real problems and real issues that need to be worked upon. No one is tailor-made for us as per our needs, not even our “the one”.

6. Adjustment Problems

Our generation is struggling with generational trauma and for women, a lot of it roots from the fact that the women in our lives made sacrifices and adjustments for work with cost them heavily in the long run. And I’m not saying we should give up our dreams and aspirations for love but love does demand some sacrifices and adjustments for two people to live together in peace but being the way that we are, we refuse to adjust or sacrifice anything at all in the name of love (even though we don’t mind doing so much more in the name of family).

7. Trust Issues

Trust issues are common and they’re not going anywhere but our generation has started using trust issues as a reason to build a wall around us and keep people out. Our defense mechanism against betrayal is that we not only look for emotionally unavailable people but also refuse to let people in and see the real us. We never expose our true, raw, vulnerable selves to anyone due to the fear of betrayal. Distrust has become our default setting which also means that we never really give love a real, genuine chance.

Also Read: How To Get Over A Situationship Breakup? 6 Tips To Help You Move On

8. Unwilling To Make It Work

Our fear of being tied down by love and having to trust also makes us very unwilling to work for love or make love work for us. This is also why we constantly keep looking for excuses to run away from anything that could turn out to be real love or end in a serious relationship. We refuse to work problems out or mend things. Instead, we’re quick to term every flaw as a red flag and flee at the first sight of trouble in paradise and refuse to look back.

Guess, it’s time you start cleaning up your act and fix your problems instead of complaining about being single.

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Janvi Manchanda

​​She uses her pen to slice through patriarchy. She could be Geet one day, Wednesday Addams next. Writing is the bane of her existence and the object of all her desires!

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