Hautetalk: Parents Will Use Delhi Murder Case As A Point To Demonise Live-In Relationships, But Conveniently Ignore The Violent Marital Cases

Give better reasons to discredit live-in relationships.

In India, we take pride in the fact that we’re true to our culture and our traditions. We take pride in the fact that though our thinking is “modern”, we still haven’t forgotten our roots. And so, when a person does something that doesn’t exactly tally with our culture/traditions, we immediately demonize it without even giving it a second thought. One of the prime examples of that is the ongoing argument of live-in relationships vs marriage.

If you’ve ever spoken to your parents about their thoughts on live-in relationships, you’d see them criticizing it. They speak as though two people wanting to be together without the interference of parents or elders is an unthinkable concept. 

They constantly find things to emphasise why live-in relationships are the worst and unthinkable – especially in Indian society. In fact, many parents are also using the recent gruesome Delhi murder case – where a man kills his live-in partner – as a tool to point out how unsafe it is to be in one.

A Twitter user pointed out this exact thing in their tweet. They wrote, “The reason live-in relationships are demonised is because it portrays choice and autonomy exercised by two individuals without interference of parents/elders, a concept that is unthinkable in Indian society. The Delhi Murder case will be another cautionary tale used by parents.”

And if you think about it logically, you’d see that the Delhi murder case is not a reason to not opt for a live-in relationship. Because let’s face it, every other day there are cases of husbands abusing, beating, harassing, and murdering their wives over arguments and practices like dowry. But we don’t see anyone pointing that as a reason to not get married.

All the moral policing of society barely ever questions the innumerable dowry deaths, domestic abuses, and mental torture that women face when married. They don’t even see that even arrange marriages are wrought with toxicity and violence. Society very conveniently chooses to ignore the inhuman torture and murder that take place in marriages where the man is selected by the parents themselves.

In fact, I’d even say that there have been more cases of violence, abuse, and murder in marital relationships than in live-in relationships. But the sad truth is that society, including our parents, will ignore that and keep glorifying the institution of marriage. What they forget is that the inhumane and gory side of human beings doesn’t really care about relationships. 

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Ritu Sanghvi

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