All Men Think They’re Good In Bed. LOL, Yeah. Umm, No!
We live in a world full of men who are way more than often, seen indulging in gloating about their sexcapades and glorifying their sexual prowess. Every time I hear a man talk about how good they are in bed, it leaves me wondering why men are so obsessed with being so perfect when it comes to sex. Also, how can a single person’s gloating be an indicator of whether they really are good in bed, I mean, it really isn’t a one-person task, is it? NGL but the stories they weave literally might seem like they have popped out from the pages of the raciest erotica ever, but let’s be honest, it’s not a one size fits all game, is it?
Furthermore, if you take a minute and think about it, it’s like a man sitting with his group of friends suddenly declaring that he is the golden standard for sex and then, they all proceed to declare the same for themselves because why wouldn’t they, huh? This is funny because it seems like all just basically claiming that all men, everywhere, set the golden standard for sex. TBH, we need to appreciate the joke I just made while we are wondering how many men could ever really get us there or even find our G-spots. I know, don’t worry, it doesn’t make you mean, we’re all thinking about it. But, this also makes me wonder, why do men even do it?
Why Do Men Claim To Be Good In Bed?
The first thing that pops into my mind when I hear a man bragging about his sexual prowess is the fact that he’s definitely overcompensating by adding colour to his stories. I mean, it’s only natural for people to have insecurities and these exaggerations end up protecting them from the truths that they too, have been hiding from themselves. Men don’t want to accept the fact that they might need to learn and it’s been this way for far too long.
To be fair, we live in a massively patriarchal society and the ‘burden’ on the shoulders of men goes just beyond claiming to be caretakers and crosses over to the bedroom too. So, this gloating is clearly, just another way to feed the stereotypes from the great book of toxic masculinity, You know that awful one that refuses to fade away no matter how much we work on it? Yep, that one.
Furthermore, I also believe that the male ego might share the blame here. You know the condition that leaves men with a judgmental type of superiority along with the messed-up need to show off, constantly striving to impress women and of course, constantly putting in work to outdo others, especially other men. This pushes them further into their own stories, beliefs and mental fantasies.
But these aren’t the only reasons. Honestly, I don’t think this is entirely their fault. A lot of things that we as women do in bed, help promote this thinking as well and it’s about time we rectify that and bring men into the sphere of reality. But, how can we help?
How Can We Help Bring Men Back To Reality?
This takes me back to the time when I really liked a guy and he turned out to be well, to put it delicately, lacklustre in bed. His kisses and touch were amazing but his sexual performances would leave me sad and orgasm-less. As it kept proceeding, his performance kept deteriorating until the point where it was really bad and genuinely awkward.
Also Read: Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? Here’s Why We Need To Stop It RN!
This made me wonder, what might have happened and I realised, it was me. This was my fault, the fact that I never pointed it out and instead let my mind wander as I politely faked my orgasms and gave excessive power to my emotions, I just giving him the wrong idea. After all, I’m sure that following this awful time in the bedroom, this guy too, would run to his friends and talk about his great sexual prowess, huh?
So, I genuinely think men might not be the only people who are at fault here, we tend to unknowingly promote their toxic thinking and male ego and it’s time that we stop contributing to these awful lies and stereotypes. Here are some things that I think, can help make this possible:
1. Honesty Is The Best Policy
Let your sexual partners know if what they’re doing is making you feel awkward, bored or just plain bad. Being honest can help them be aware and make necessary changes.
2. Stop Faking It
Faking your orgasm might seem like the nice and sweet way to go when it comes to a man’s emotions. But, it really isn’t. It doesn’t let them know something’s wrong, it’s like robbing them of their opportunity to improve.
3. Speak Up, Nicely
When you want to change the position or just try something else which might help you get there, speak up. Let them know and nicely explain the reason behind it too. This can definitely help.
4. Show And Tell Might Help
Take your time to show them what works for women, help them find that G-spot and spot your clit because this is very essential and is bound to help them and you, in the future.
5. Next Time, Call It When You See It
Next time, whenever you see someone overcompensating for the sake of their toxic male ego, point it out to them so they are of their mistakes and work towards improving on them.
Also Read: Debunking 7 Sexual Stereotypes That Are Turning Into Norms. Let’s Normalise Sex And Sexual Health!
It’s about time that we let of the toxicity and enjoy sex like it is meant to be enjoyed. We all deserve to ask for what we desire and have it fulfilled, it’s time to help men realise that the male ego is harmful and that sex is a two-way street and it is bound to help them, in the long run. Isn’t it?
