Why Do Women Fake Orgasms? Here’s Why We Need To Stop It RN!
Time and again, I have stressed the fact that sex is just like any other bodily need. What do we do when we’re hungry? Or thirsty? We satisfy our body’s needs by eating or drinking. Similarly, it is normal to feel aroused and satisfy our bodily needs by having sex or masturbating. Having said that, it’s essential to note that while men do that, women don’t. Women’s pleasure has been stigmatized by society for a long long time. And this has led to a huge orgasm gap between men and women which continues to widen with each passing day. Due to this, not only do women experience fewer orgasms but a large number of women haven’t experienced an orgasm at all. Yepp, that’s true. Speaking of statistics, we all know that women are pros at faking it. Fake orgasms still exist and here’s why.
According to PleasureBetter, a recent study has found that 91% men orgasmed during a recent sexual encounter but only 64% women experienced an orgasm. Another study has found that 5 to 10% women have never experienced an orgasm in their lives and a whopping 59% women have faked an orgasm. Shocking, right? The number of women who have fake climaxed and for what? Why this sexual behaviour, ladies? Let’s understand why women fake it till they make it (or not)!
Also Read: International Female Orgasm Day: Are Nipple Orgasms A Reality?
Why Do Women Fake It?
I recently spoke to a friend and a colleague about orgasming and faking orgasms and I realise that we’re not alone. In order to understand the reason behind women faking climax, we need to understand that the orgasm gap has nothing to do with biology but everything to do with culture. For the longest time, women have been told to suppress their own desires. Women’s pleasure and their desires are usually looked down upon and for a woman to communicate her sexual needs would be nothing short of a scandal.
Thanks to the patriarchy, not only does the ghar ki izzat reside in a woman’s vagina but a man’s mardangi and fragile male ego also have strings attached to the vajajay. A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that women fake orgasms to please men and satisfy their fragile egos. As per a survey conducted by the researchers, 283 women stated that they fake orgasms for the sake of their male partners. The women shared that they feel “obligated” to compliment their partner with a fake orgasm as not doing so may make their partner feel threatened. We know a lot of men who would take it personally if the woman does not orgasm and it’s not uncommon for them to blame the woman or mansplain orgasms to us. And in order to avoid the drama, women fake it instead of communicating their needs and the truth. All this simply because she does not want to make you feel inadequate and hurt your fragile male ego and sense of masculinity. What’s worse is that women are doing this at the cost of their own sexual satisfaction. Toxic masculinity is really taking a toll on women’s pleasure. Another thing to note is that this study also suggests that women who earn more than their male partners are more likely to fake an orgasm because well, she has to compensate somewhere to make the man feel secure. Toxic masculinity and male ego also exist in our bedroom and they’re robbing women of orgasms.
Also Read: “How Many Times Did You Fake An Orgasm?” Women On Reddit Spill The Tea About Their Struggles In Bed
In most cases, the women fake it in bed only to protect their partners from getting hurt which in turn is bound to affect their relationships. Not being able to make their partner cum can take a toll on a man’s feelings and lead to the downfall of the relationship. The fear of disappointing their partner is one of the biggest reasons why women fake orgasms. While women believe that they’re saving the relationship, the sad reality is that a relationship where a woman cannot communicate her sexual needs and desires is bound to be doomed. It will eventually end with a sexually frustrated woman spending her life protecting her partner from the cold hard truth.
We’re often told to fake it till we make but that’s not something that works in bed. A large number of women fake orgasms because they think it may aid in achieving an actual climax. In fact, a lof ot women find faking orgasms arousing and believe that it can enhance their own sexual experience. But does it really work? We’re not so sure.
For the longest time, women have been taking the blame for everybody’s failures. We’ve been taking the blame for society failing us as a whole. We’ve been taking the blame for getting raped, for not having enough opportunities, for our partner feeling insecure and also for not being able to orgasm. You got eve-teased, it was probably because you were wearing skimpy clothes. Someone is stalking you, you were over-friendly with him and gave him the wrong hints and whatnot. Since we have always been blamed for a man not doing things right, we automatically assume that not being able to orgasm is our fault when in fact, the man has failed. Instead of blaming men for not knowing female anatomy and the right techniques to make a woman climax, we give them the benefits of the doubt at the cost of blaming ourselves. Not being able to orgasm often makes women feel like failures like their body has failed them and that there might be something wrong with their body and vagina. Instead of communicating with their partner women just accept the blame and believe that their vagina is broken instead of accepting that their partner has failed them. The fear that she cannot orgasm makes a woman feel embarrassed and afraid and even self-conscious. And that, my friends, is also why women fake it.
Once a man figures out that you’re nowhere near a climax despite all the effort he’s putting in, chances are that he will simply give up instead of putting in more effort. Toxic masculinity tells men that they’re inadequate if they cannot make a woman cum but at the same time when a woman cannot cum, men prefer giving up rather than working hard. It’s also largely because men do not understand that women’s pleasure isn’t easy and penetrative sex is not always the way to make her climax. Women need a lot more stimulation (of the right kind) to make them cum.
Also, sometimes women just fake it to make the bad sex stop. We know that you’re not getting anywhere with it and if you’re sooo keen on making us cum, we’ll just throw you a bone, a fake orgasm in this case to finally put an end to the drama. More so if you’re the kind of guy who is constantly asking her if she’s close.
Here’s Why Women Need To Stop Faking It!
Let me tell you this, faking an orgasm is not only detrimental to your sex life but also to womenkind in general. When you fake it to save your partner from guilt and disappointment and not hurt his feelings, essentially you’re telling them that they’re good in bed and their technique works. Your partner may feel that they’re good and continue to do this with other women unknown to the cold hard truth. They will never know what they’re doing wrong and you’re putting a man who does not understand a woman’s body on the streets and he assumes he knows how to navigate. Faking orgasms is also cheating and manipulative. You’re keeping the truth from your partner and protecting him from reality which is, in some sense, like robbing him of his sexual autonomy. Imagine someone faking it with you, you wouldn’t like being lied to, would you?
Also Read: How To Know If You’ve Had An Orgasm? 5 Signs That You Have Climaxed
Not only are you stroking your partner’s ego but you’re also enabling toxic masculinity and patriarchal norms. As women, we’re also contributing to the widening orgasm gap when we fake it instead of communicating our sexual needs and desires. What we should be doing instead is communicating with men and changing their perspectives towards masculinity, sex and female pleasure in order to reduce the orgasm gap.
