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#AskHauterfly: What Is Stashing And Why Has It Taken Over The Dating World?

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Us millennials (me, included) think we are damn smart. I mean, who else will give funky, cool names to existing concepts and try to sell them as amazing new theories!? And our favourite area of expertise? Dating, of course.

Yes, we’ve done it once again.

There’s a new dating slang in town, and word is that it is already quite popular.

So here’s the A to Z about *drumroll please!*… Stashing.



In layman’s terms, Stashing basically means that you’ve been dating someone for a while now, but weirdly have never met his/her friends or family; even after having been together since ages. Now, considering we’re living in a “modern” country like India, I totally understand the not-telling-family part.



But, hey, what’s the deal about not telling your friends? You’ve heard about his/her awesome pals, but whenever you so much as hint at wanting to meet them, a series of excuses are thrown in your general direction. Does it make you feel like you’re being “stashed” away, like those cute-but-unnecessary clothes you’ve stashed away in the closet drawer?


If the situation sounds familiar, it’s because it has been happening for too long. But it’s only now that we have a name for it.

More often than not, the person stashing their partner is afraid of a serious commitment or is just passing his or her time. Or in certain extreme cases, is in a relationship with someone else. Either way, it’s not a cool situation to be in.

Till now, this was a phenomenon of the physical world, but in the digital age, it has taken a whole other direction.

For example, if you tag your partner in 101 memes and they never respond — let alone reciprocate the gesture — well, we hate to tell you this, but you are being stashed. Social media validation is a huge part of our lives today, and if our partners fail to show the love on Facebook or Instagram, the relationship is not quite there, is it?



So, the next time yet another plan of meeting his/her friends for dinner is canned, or he/she can’t even put a group picture with you in it, perhaps it’s the red flag you need to rethink your dating game.

Also, don’t be the one stashing others. You’re better than that.



Plus, considering the plethora of dating apps out there today, you don’t have to chase that one person not reciprocating your affection just because you don’t want to be alone.

Collecting stash is only cool in some cases, if you know what I mean.


Hauterfly's Lifestyle writer and resident Potterhead. In love with boxes, diaries, food, and conversations. Always in a state of fernweh. (Don't know what that means? Search the site for more!)

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