10 Signs Your Partner Is Using Therapy Speak To Emotionally Abuse YouRun in the other direction!
Just days ago, Keke Palmer’s baby daddy came under the radar for shaming her for what she wore to Usher’s concert and went as far as saying that as the man of the family, he wouldn’t want the mother of his kids to show her “booty cheeks to please others”. And now, Jonah Hill has enraged the internet for his controlling behaviour. Jonah Hill recently came under the radar after his ex-girlfriend, surfer and lawyer in the making, Sarah Brady went public with accusations of emotional abuse against the actor. The surfer took to social media to share screenshots of messages from the actor who gave her a list of things he expects her to do and not do in order to continue their romantic relationship while claiming that these are his “boundaries” for a romantic partnership. And the dos and don’t were more about controlling what the surfer does in her personal life instead of healthy boundaries as one would expect.
The reason the Jonah Hill texts resonate so much with women is because every woman alive has had multiple men confidently tell her what to do, how to dress, how to speak and even what she may or may not eat.
And they don’t resonate with most men because men rarely exhibit this… pic.twitter.com/ik6VTLXH7l
— MFW 🧙🏽♂️👊🏾🧙🏽♂️👊🏽🧙🏽 (@MFWitches) July 9, 2023
Soon after Sarah Brady made allegations of emotional abuse against Jonah Hill, women on Twitter opened up about their experiences with partners who used therapy speak to manipulate them and control them. What Keke Palmer’s baby daddy did was evidently an attempt to shame her and control her, what Jonah Hill did was use terms like “setting boundaries” to control someone else. The reasons? The boundaries that the actor refers to are ideally healthy boundaries that one sets to protect themselves. A healthy boundary is not something that is meant to dictate how your partner is supposed to behave. Essentially, the actor simply gave Sarah Brady rules that she must follow in order to be with him which concluded with an ultimatum that failing to follow the rules would be the end of the relationship. Are you also wondering if your partner is actually “setting boundaries” or simply using therapy speak to control you? Here are some signs to look out for.
Y’all aren’t sharing ALL of the Jonah Hill texts and that doesn’t sit right with me.
It gets so much worse after that first one. pic.twitter.com/8Ay5Kuwkky
— Hugh Kairs🫐 (@LyfeIzWeerd) July 8, 2023
But Wait, What Is Therapy Speak?
Therapy speak refers to formal terms for human behaviour or traits that are usually used in therapy. For example, words like ‘gaslighting’, ‘setting boundaries’, ‘toxic behaviour’, ‘trigger’ and ‘self-care’. These aren’t terms that we normally use but rather terms that clinically used to describe certain traits, habits or behaviours.
The Jonah Hill bs just shows how bad people are at understanding communication versus manipulation.
HE dated a SURF INSTRUCTOR.
Then HE tried to change her.
Gaslit her to make it seem like she was doing something awful & he was just “stating boundaries.”
Y’all need therapy 😮💨
— Hillary Nicole (@Pokket) July 10, 2023
Signs Your Partner Using Weaponized Therapy Speak To Control You
1. Are Their Boundaries Healthy Or Toxic? Ideally, their boundaries should be about someone else’s behaviour towards them. For example, if they tell you to give them space when they feel overwhelmed by emotions or not touch them when they’re angry. That’s a healthy boundary. But if their boundaries are how you should behave, that’s definitely not a healthy boundary. The biggest example being Jonah Hill wanted Sarab Brady to dress according to him, post pictures as per his choice and make friends that he is comfortable with, all under the guise of “setting boundaries”. Essentially, he was setting boundaries for her, not himself.
Boundaries are not rules for others, rather rules for yourself and values. Using “boundaries” to control others is manipulative, not self protective. I wouldn’t classify what Jonah Hill did as “setting boundaries”.
— emotional automoton (@miller_ryan5291) July 10, 2023
Also Read: Twitter Unanimously Agrees Jonah Hill Used Therapy Language To Manipulate Ex-Girlfriend Sarah Brady
2. Are They Triggered By Your Personal Choices? If that’s the case, they’re simply using therapy speak to control you. For example, if your partner claims that they get angry and lose control when another man stands in close proximity to you or if you smile and talk to someone else because they want to be the only person making you smile and it “triggers” their anxiety or anger, they’re simply using it an excuse to control you.
This is from Sarah Brady – Jonah Hill’s ex – this is manipulative, abusive bullshit.
SHE IS A SURFER AND SHOULDN’T…post pictures of herself in a bathing suit? WTF.
What a tiny little man. pic.twitter.com/WhU0k9tHK0
— celia (@_celia_bedelia_) July 8, 2023
3. Are They Demeaning You? The biggest sign that your partner is using therapy speak to manipulate you is that they demean you when setting boundaries. For example, Jonah Hill told Sarah Brady, his then-girlfriend who happens to be a surfer, to stop posting “sexual pictures” of herself, and have “boundaryless inappropriate friendships with men” and with “unstable women” which questions the character of the surfers and demeans her.
Some men will want to date super hot women who are attractive to most men
And somehow these women are expected to suddenly become unattractive to other men whilst still remaining extremely attractive to the man they're with
Otherwise they are labelled promiscuous and unworthy
— Antonia (@flaminhaystacks) July 9, 2023
4. Are They Using Ultimatums With You? Jonah Hill gave Sarah Brady an ultimatum that if she does not follow the “boundaries” that he is setting, it will be the end of their relationship. While it is important to respect boundaries, the idea in itself means that boundaries are something to be respected, not followed. In other words, boundaries are meant to be something one does to not hurt the other person. Boundaries are different from “rules” that dictate how one should behave failing which, the relationship ends.
5. Are They Trying To Change You After Claiming To Love You For Who You Are? Jonah Hill dated Sarah Brady knowing full well that she is a surfer and often posts bikini pictures, is friends with men, and surfs with them and models. And then, the second things started getting serious, he wanted to change who she is and mould her into someone he wants her to be.
When Jonah Hill says something like her modeling is a boundary for him, that is a red flag. She was a model before they started dating. Did he tell her upfront she couldn’t model if she wanted to date him? Or did he wait until he had her hooked to start imposing rules?
— Artemis (@She_OfTheWild) July 10, 2023
6. Do They Want You To Be Submissive? Jonah Hill’s texts highlight that he wanted to dictate who Sarah Brady shares friendships with, who she hangs our with, what work she does and what she posts on HER social media profile among other things. If your partner wants you to submit to them and do as they please they want a puppet, not a partner.
Jonah Hill asking his surfer girlfriend not to surf with men and not post pictures in a swimsuit is NOT setting boundaries.
It's controlling, toxic behavior.
Imagine a woman dating a chef and telling him he can't cook with women in the kitchen or post pics in his chef's coat.
— bonky ⚘ she/her (@shesbonky) July 9, 2023
7. Do They Expect You To Apologise For Who You Are? In other texts shared by Sarah, Jonah can be seen asking the surfer to “take accountability” for being who she is. Erm, if your partner blames you for being who you are and for having a career that they do not like, run in the other direction!
And I know so many cases of men dating journalist women thinking they are intelligent, fun, outgoing, and then resenting their independence once things got serious. Happens more than you know.
— Rituparna Chatterjee (@MasalaBai) July 10, 2023
8. Are They Expecting Respect After Disrespecting You? Jonah expected his surfer girlfriend to respect him after he attacked her for being a surfer and being friends with the other gender and surfing with them. After questioning her character, the actor wanted her to “respect him”. How? FYI, if your partner is behaving like that, you might want to dump them RN!
Men shouldn’t police their girlfriends’ outfits PERIOD but on top of that, these are the kinds of pictures Jonah Hill said were too “sexy.” This is just a woman existing in a swimsuit (a modest one piece and hat nonetheless) and in weather-appropriate clothing. pic.twitter.com/CS8EPg19oG
— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) July 10, 2023
9. Are They Gaslighting You With Therapy Speak? Jonah Hill made his girlfriend take down pictures that he did not like and when she pointed out that what he’s referring to as a “thong” is not a thong, the actor lashed out at her and attempted to guilt trip her by saying that there are a lot of other pictures and he’s not even going that far. Sure, thank you for the favour, sir!
The thing about Jonah Hill and his texts show that he has become obsessed with therapy speak and is using that to parse his relationships.
The man literally made a documentary about how much he loved his therapist. That is not someone who actually has healthy relationships. pic.twitter.com/jTEIE1e4mx
— Poe's Law, Esq: Poe's Lawyer (@dyingscribe) July 8, 2023
Also Read: We Can’t Eliminate Violence Against Women Unless We Recognise And Talk About Emotional Abuse
10. Do They Find Nothing Wrong With Jonah Hill’s Behaviour? If your partner thinks that there is nothing wrong with Jonah’s behaviour and relates to him, you need to drop them like a hot potato and make a run for it.
The first thing people ask survivors of abuse for is proof. Every time. Without fail. So no, we do not live in a world where abusive texts + messages get to remain private under some vague, silently agreed to sense of decorum. https://t.co/r2paAWlb4J
— An American Werewolf (@JMYaLes) July 10, 2023
There’s no doubt that the actor consciously attempted to try and control his ex-girlfriend and surfer Sarah Brady and we’re glad she went public with the texts to highlight everything that is wrong with what he said.