Shruti Haasan Said She Was Excited When Her Parents Got Divorced. She Felt They Were “Happier Apart”
Our parents come from a generation which strongly believed that it is better to stay in the same house even after the marriage is long over, you know, for the betterment of their children. It’s not easy for the kids to witness their families get split into two and come to terms with the social stigma surrounding it. A child needs both mom and dad, they say. But doesn’t growing up in a broken home affect a child’s development? Isn’t it devastating to watch the toxic dynamic between your parents, the constant bickering and possibly, abuse and infidelity? This has a long-lasting impact on a child’s attachment style and view of relationships. Maybe divorce isn’t as damaging as raising a child in the middle of a toxic relationship, and Shruti Haasan, even though a young girl, was aware of this when her parents got separated.
Shruti Haasan revealed that when her parents were getting a divorce, she was rather glad it was happening. “I was just excited for them (her parents) to live their own lives. I was glad they separated as I do not think two people who are not getting along, should get along for some reason,” Shruti told Zoom Digital. “They continue to be wonderful parents. I am particularly close to my dad. My mum is doing well and is a part of our lives as well. It actually panned out for the best,” she added.
Shruti went on to explain how individually they are amazing but when they were together, they were not quite good for each other. “They are both uniquely wonderful and beautiful people. They were not that beautiful together anymore. That does not take away their individual beauty as human beings. When they separated, I was very young, and it was very simple, they were happier apart than they were together,” she revealed.
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Kamal Haasan was still legally married to dancer Vani Ganapathy when he started his relationship with Shruti’s mother, Sarika. He married Sarika in 1988 and they got a divorce, 17 years later in 2002. Together they had two children, Shruti and Akshara Haasan.
“Divorce a marriage for the adult’s sake; but afterwards, jointly recommit to a working parental partnership with your ex for the sake of the kids. At worst, what you don’t want is an adolescent complaining: “They get along worse now than when they were married. I feel caught in the middle of their resentments. It feels like they love to hate each other more than they love us kids!” Much better for your adolescent to be able to say: “My parents may not have been able to get along in marriage, but they really pull together when it comes to their children”,” Carl Pickhardt, a clinical psychologist wrote in Psychology Today.
While it’s natural for kids to feel anger because they feel the parents lacked commitment to the family, with cordial upbringing and therapy if required, the child can feel loved and secure. Co-parenting after divorce requires a lot of good conflict resolution skills and it helps the child take something positive out of it.
“Your kids are watching everything that you do. If you can get along with your ex, and the children can see and feel that they are being parented by a team, they are learning valuable human relationship and problem solving skills. This will serve them well as they navigate all the trials and tribulations that will come their way over time,” Robin Graine, a divorce mediator, wrote in her blog.
Arjun Kapoor, too, seems to have developed a positive outlook on relationships following his parents divorce. “It’s about compatibility, there is friendship, there is saturation. There is unfortunate frustration, people go through different phases in life. You could have been in love with somebody, and you can fall in love with somebody after that, and that has to be understood. I don’t agree… I can’t say I’m okay with what my father did, because as a child I felt the repercussions, but I understand it. I can’t say ‘theek hai, hota hai (It’s fine, these things happen)’, because I will always wonder. But when I rationalise it as an older person who’s dealing with his own relationship highs and lows, you understand.” I think it’s safe to say it’s better to raise your children with positivity, even though you’re separated than raise them in a toxic environment under the same roof.
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Meanwhile, Shruti Haasan spoke about being financially independent and wanting to get back to work soon. “When they’re ready to shoot, I’ve to go out there as I also have shoots to complete and other professional commitments that I need to finish.” She further added, “We make different amounts of money, but we all have bills to pay, and that is why I’ll have to get back to work”. Calling herself an ‘independent woman who pays her own bills,’ Shruti adds, “I have my limitations. I don’t have my daddy or mommy helping me”.