An Expert’s Guide To Taking Care Of Mental Health During A Breakup
Breakups are hard on all of us and it’s only natural to act out when we’re in pain but it never really gets easier. To have to say goodbye to a relationship where we have invested our emotions and love is extremely difficult. The conversation around relationships and breakups has begun due to the recent death of television actress Tunisha Sharma. The actress allegedly committed suicide after her ex-boyfriend and co-star Sheezan Khan broke up with her. And the sad reality is that she isn’t the first person to choose this path after a heartbreak. We’ve come across several other stories of people who committed suicide after a breakup.
So, we decided to speak to a mental health expert about breakups and dealing with them. Speaking about it, consulting psychiatrist Dr Rahul Khemani said, “Breakups are just as painful as losing someone and so, we go through the same stages of grief as well. It begins with denial and goes on to anger, and then to bargaining to get that person back in your life, followed by depression and then acceptance. But reaching the stage of acceptance is no easy feat. Depending on your personality and the depth of your relationship, it can take you between a few days to a few months to reach this final stage of grief.”
So, How Do We Deal With Breakups?
Discussing breakups, Dr Rahul Khemani said, “While breakup is just another chapter in our lives, it’s tough to get over it because it’s like a Horcrux, in reference to the Harry Potter series.” FYI, Horcrux is an object made using dark magic that splits a wizard or witch’s soul into separate pieces in order to help them achieve immortality. Speaking further, the psychiatrist explained that heartbreak can break a small part of a person that’ll hurt for forever because humans just can’t delete a memory.
Tips To Manage Your Mental Health When Dealing With A Breakup
1. Avoid Denial And Anger
Talking about ways to deal with a breakup, Dr Rahul Khemani said that one should avoid being in denial or becoming aggressive. “Understand that being in denial or being angry will only hurt you and make things tough for you. If you act out in anger and block your partner or do something on social media, you’ll only feel guilty and regret your actions when you look at it later,” said the psychiatrist.
2. It’s Okay To Avoid Your Partner
It’s normal for us to not want to look at our exes after a breakup and take some personal space. Speaking about the same, Dr Rahul said that it’s okay to avoid looking at your partner or meeting them so you can have some space to heal and allow them to have the same kind of space to heal. “Moreover, this also gives you a chance to retrospect,” added the psychiatrist.
3. Replace The Hurt
“It’s important to replace the hurt and pain with happiness and the best way to do it is to indulge yourself in happy activities that make you feel good. Do things for yourself. Maybe go out, talk to your friends, visit your family or loves ones,” said Dr Rahul Khemani.
4. Stop Reminiscing!
We often tend to look at old pictures and recall fond memories we have with our exes but that’s never a good idea because it just reopens old wounds that have barely begun healing. “You need to slowly, stop looking at old pictures, videos and messages because these memories will only hurt you more and increase your pain. Not only does this make your process longer but it also leads to negative emotions towards that person that you do not need,” said Dr Khemani.
5. Stick To A Healthy Routine
Breaking the cycle of depression and avoiding unhealthy habits is essential for healing. Discussing the same, the mental health expert said, “Start maintaining a healthy routine. Sleep on time, wake up on time, eat healthy and most importantly, stay away from any addictive behaviours. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol or cigarettes or drugs isn’t going to help. Instead, it’ll make everything much worse and make you feel much more negative.”
6. Do Not Revisit The Past
“It’s normal for people to discuss their past relationship again and again with their family, friends and loved ones. But that’s not always a good idea. Revisiting your past and relationship will only make matters worse because this time, it comes with people’s opinions which is bound to affect you and leave you confused, whether they support you or not,” said Dr Rahul Khemani while stressing the fact that a relationship is extremely personal for a person.
7. Find Ways To Channel Your Energy
We all know how essential it is to remain positive at a time when your world has come crashing down. Dr Rahul Khemani shared that one needs to find positive activities like journaling to avoid overthinking. “You can also try positive affirmations because breakups can really affect your self-worth and positive affirmations can help break the cycle and aid you in overcoming such issues. Apart from this, self-care activities like yoga and meditation can also help. But make sure to get in some therapy sessions to vent your emotions and help you deal with the reality of life,” said the psychiatrist.
View this post on Instagram
Also Read: Winona Ryder Opens Up About Breakup With Johnny Depp, Says She Sought Therapy To Get Over It
Well, TBH, life comes with its ups and downs and love always, always comes at the risk of heartbreak but breakups aren’t the end of the world. It may feel like your world is crashing and burning but there’s more to our lives than just love and relationships.
Janvi uses her pen to smash the patriarchy. Geet one day and Wednesday Addams the next. Writing is the bane of her existence and the object of all her desires!