From Feeling Like My ‘Worst Enemy’ To Being My Closest Confidante, How My Relationship With Maa Changed After Marriage
Mother-daughter relationships are special. As much as we girls fight with our mothers, they always remain our closest confidantes and best friend. But over the years, as we age in number and in maturity, our relationships with people around us also change. And the same way, my relationship with my mother has also evolved over the years. I remember the damaged relationship I had with my mother as a teenager. All the screaming matches and the rebellion. Yes, I was an extremely rebellious teenage girl and being a new-age feminist, I wasn’t one to take things sitting back. I was all about bringing about change and we all know that charity begins at home. With time, I managed to rebel in a more peaceful manner and my mother learned to make peace with the change I was bringing about. My relationship with my mother improved drastically and she went from being my worst enemy (only in my head as a teenager) to being my anchor but there was a drastic shift in my relationship with her before and after my marriage.
While I was a rebellious teenager, I was always my mother’s cheerleader and anchor. I always stood by her and supported her in her journey of getting out of her toxic and abusive relationship with my father. But that didn’t mean that we didn’t have our own fair share of challenges and problems. Back when I was 18-years-old, I moved out of my house to get away from the toxicity and while I left my mother behind, I always stood by her in her time of need. And that physical distance between me and my mother worked wonders for us. She soon went from being my mother to my closest confidante who knew about all my demons and deepest darkest secrets. Despite being a desi mother, she stood by me (with no questions asked, might I add) when I had to undergo an abortion due to contraceptive failure with my then-boyfriend (now husband). I think that was the turning point of our relationship where I realised that I could always reach out to her but the differences remained.
While my relationship with my mother continued to remain strong, we did have our ups and downs and our own issues to work through. In April 2021, I tied the knot with my boyfriend/fiance and that’s when it hit me that being an only child, I would be leaving my mother behind to live alone in Mumbai while I moved to Visakhapatnam with my husband. That kickstarted a new chapter in my rather complicated relationship with my mother. Not only did I begin to love her more but I also started feeling extremely protective of her. An hour after my bidaai, I couldn’t help but call up my mother to just check in with her. Five days after my marriage, when my mother-in-law asked me to limit my contact with my mother, I felt extremely enraged. Just the idea of emotionally deserting my mother was beyond heartbreaking and without blinking an eyelid, I refused and chose to take a stand for my mother. I went from being someone who would drop everything in her life for the love of my life to someone who would be willing to fight the world to protect her mother. The girl did not even call her mother once a day, was now calling and video calling her mother multiple times a day. And from there on, things only went uphill between me and my Maa.
Just when I thought my relationship with my mother could not get any better, the universe showed me that there is no other love like a mother’s love. In October 2021, when my marriage hit the rocks after two episodes of physical abuse, it was my mother who rushed to my rescue. I always thought my knight in shining armour would be the love of my life who would protect me from all evil but it was my mother who turned into my knight in shining armour who saved me from the love of my life who had not only broken my heart and my mind but had also physically hurt me. In a blink of an eyelid, my mother was by my side in a different city, saving me from the world while holding me in the comfort and protection of her arms. Despite all the negativity around me, I saw my mother in a fresh, positive light. The woman who I had abandoned in a toxic relationship had come to my rescue. And it didn’t just end there. She picked my pieces and brought me back to Mumbai where she helped me rebuild my life and myself from the scratch. Amid all my pain, panic attacks and tantrums, she stood by me as I created a life and carved a new place for myself in Mumbai all over again and she continues to hold my hand as I go through the harrowing experience of being hurt by my love.
Also Read: 8 Things You Can Do For Your Mom On Mother’s Day And Every Other Day. Because Ek Din Se Kya Hoga?
So, on this mother’s day, I would like to take a moment to thank my mother for her unconditional love and constant support. Over the years, my mother showed me what it is to be a mother, a strong woman and love unconditionally without asking for anything in return. And she did this while teaching me some strong values and making me a strong, independent, opinionated and empowered woman. I believe writers are the only ones who can immortalise people, relationships and love with their work and this Mother’s Day, I am choosing to immortalise my relationship with my mother and her unconditional love for me in ways no one else can. Happy Mother’s Day, Maa. I love you.