Avantika Malik Shared How Both Marriages And Divorces Are Difficult. You Got To “Choose Your Hard”
What is it about breakups that change you? As much as they hurt, I believe with all my heart that heartbreaks are important in character development. So if you allow it to, your pain will help you grow. And it’s not just a breakup but being in a long-term relationship teaches you a lot. There will be times you will be forced to grow because that’s the only way things can work. You will learn to keep patience when you are willing to blow off, love with a person who won’t always seem likable, and know that compatibility has to be worked on. Avantika Malik, recently took to Instagram to share her thoughts on marriage, divorce, and life in general.
She shared a quote that read, “Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.” She captioned it, “Serious truth bomb via @devonbroughsa #chooseyourhard.”
This really made me think – there’s literally nothing that will be a piece of cake. Life is not a passive thing that will happen parallel to your lack of effort. You got to keep at it and everything has a flip side. We are all struggling in our own way. Even those with a lot of riches, a perfect body, and possibly a great spouse. Do you think it’s difficult to work every day? Try being unemployed. Do you think being committed is scary? So is being alone.
But here’s the thing—none of it has to be too difficult, too scary at all times. We don’t have to choose the hard way each time. Yes, it’s important to be strong and pick what is worth the struggle. But it is also important to give ourselves the time to take it easy sometimes. It’s okay to have a cheat meal when you’re trying to be fit. You can still love your body even if you’re obese. Being financially disciplined is hard but you can do that and still find those occasional escapes in indulgence.
Choose your hard but also choose your easy. Relationships are hard and so are breakups. And it’s okay to choose the option that is more conducive to your wellbeing. Mini Mathur dropped a comment explaining the same, “True but my two bits. Make your bubble and sit in it. Crawl out when you must deal with the shit but always crawl back into easy happy spaces. Compartmentalise!”
Avantika Malik’s post was definitely insightful and made us think. A user wrote, “Really well written. Life’s truth in a few lines.” Another user pointed out, “Truth Bomb it is!!! Life is always a choice between good & better or hard & harder.”
But making choices isn’t easy in the first place. At least, I am one of those people who really think about my options before taking a call. Nobody just decides to get married one day and nobody decides to get separated overnight. Those choices take time and yet, they are often plagued by biases that make humans stay in relationships that have long expired. We are influenced by the loss aversion bias which causes us to not receive a gain if it comes in exchange for a loss. Several people stay in relationships because they don’t want to lose their partner even if it means they’d gain better things like peace of mind, self-esteem, and a fresh chance at love.
Similarly, our decisions are also clouded by the ambiguity bias, which is basically the human need for familiarity. They say a known devil is better than an unknown one. We are so afraid of what lies ahead – how the dating pool is or if love exists really—so we settle, for what we have, for what we know.
So it takes a person a lot of courage to finally cut through that bias and make a choice between two difficult options. Just having the stress to choose is difficult. We are constantly thinking about whether we should stay or walk away and in that uncertainty, there is no peace. Making a choice is so hard and when someone had the courage to do that, we must respect them and support them because they are healing. That kind of courage changes you, help you grow and you end up posting something so deep, that it probably helps other people think too.
But then again, we have people who will drop in stupid comments. “Divorced him (Imran Khan)?” “Where is your husband Avantika..?” asked a user. I want your optimism bro. How did you even think that she will respond to your comment sharing what really is going down in her personal life? Like are you dumb?
ALSO READ: Stop With The Speculations About Imran Khan And Avantika Malik’s Separation. We Suggest People Mind Their Own Business
When Ileana Dcruz had broken up with her beau, she too had taken to Instagram to share her thoughts. “In life, you’re going to lose friends, family, and partners, but no matter who walks out of your life, never lose yourself. The most important thing is to learn how to do is to love yourself when you feel unloved by those around you and be there for yourself when you feel like you have no one,” the quote posted by Ileana read.
We don’t know what Avantika Malik and Imran Khan went through but they deserve their privacy and not be subjected to unnecessary questions. Meanwhile, more love and light to them and I hope Avantika makes her choices keeping her happiness and wellbeing in mind.