5 Reasons You Should Unfollow Your Ex On Social Media
I am not in touch with any of my exes at the moment. But earlier, I would see that my ex has been checking all my stories on Instagram, like keeping a tab on my life. In fact, another ex would watch my content even though he wasn’t following me on Instagram. Like he looked me every time to see what I was upto? And he didn’t even bother about the fact that I know.
Dealing with a breakup is like getting over an addiction with love being the drug here. An alcoholic must stay away from alcohol to get over it and you must stay away from your ex. A friend of mine recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend and one day when I met her, she seemed quite distressed. The reason? Her ex posted a picture with a woman he had gone out for drinks with! She was in the process of moving on and it took her back a few steps.
“Facebook surveillance was associated with greater current distress over the breakup, more negative feelings, sexual desire, and longing for the ex-partner, and lower personal growth. Participants who remained Facebook friends with the ex-partner, relative to those who did not remain Facebook friends, reported less negative feelings, sexual desire, and longing for the former partner, but lower personal growth,” says a study. “All of these results emerged after controlling for offline contact, personality traits, and characteristics of the former relationship and breakup that tend to predict postbreakup adjustment. Overall, these findings suggest that exposure to an ex-partner through Facebook may obstruct the process of healing and moving on from a past relationship,” it adds.
Science has backed it up! Here are 5 very good reasons you should unfollow your ex on social media.
Everyone seems nicer on Instagram
Filters, carefully churned content and best angles make our digital presence much more cooler than we actually are. There are people who will put up only party pictures, which makes them look like they have an amazing social life. Some people will have one healthy meal a week and out up a picture pretending to be having wholesome meals. There’s a lot of pretense and your ex is probably making himself look cooler too. But since you are not meeting him otherwise, this is all you know. It’s a façade!
It makes you miss them
“On the online world of acceptable cyber-stalking it can be really tempting, seemingly harmless, and maybe even at times unavoidable to have a look at an ex’s pictures. Ultimately this is a really bad idea — for a good number of reasons, but from an addiction perspective that little bump of dopamine we get when we look at them actually sends us right back into the painful addiction cycle and reinforces our belief that we can’t live without our ex,” psychotherapist and counsellor Denise Dunne told The Every Girl. Don’t fall into the digital trap!
You begin to use your content as means of communication
When you know this is all you got, you start sub-consciously start using it to send him signals. You want to show him you’re having fun, you’re getting hotter by the day and going out on dates. And then you put up stories accordingly. Ugh, it’s too much pressure. You ain’t healing while constantly thinking of your ex and how your stories can possibly make him feel.
You start comparing your lives
Seeing an ex apparently moving on with their lives when we perhaps are still working through our loss or are struggling to meet someone new, can make reuniting with them an attractive prospect, but really just to avoid being the one left behind,” says Dunne. It definitely will make you feel like crap when he is putting up happy stories and you don’t need that kind of negativity in life.
Constant connection slows down the moving on process
“Managing relationships and loss is a fundamental and challenging part of being human that affects all aspects of our lives. While social media cannot really be held responsible for our desire to avoid or mitigate the loss of love, it is fair to say that the constant connection can add another obstacle to healthy separation,” Dunne explained. Unfriend, unfollow and make space in your life, so you can move on peacefully! “Exposure to an ex-partner through Facebook may obstruct the process of healing and moving on from a past relationship,” Psychologist Tara Marshall told Business Insider.