Twitter User Points Out How Women Having To Seek “Permission” For Little Things From Husbands Causes Anxiety. It’s Deplorable!

Twitter User Points Out How Women Having To Seek “Permission” For Little Things From Husbands Causes Anxiety. It’s Deplorable!

We often come across families and husbands who are soooo very modern that they “allow” their bahus/wives to wear jeans and give them “permission” to work and meet their parents whenever they want. How very thoughtful of them? Hai na? Every time I come across such characters in real live, it reminds me of that scene from Dil Dhadakne Do where Farhan Akhtar’s character schools Rahul Bose’s character by saying that he “allowed” his wife (played by Priyanka Chopra) to work and run a business. Really, we need more people like that in this world. Now, in case you didn’t get it, let me elaborate. Ladies, you do not need permission from your husband or in-laws to wear what you want, to work, to meet your parents or to live your life. The only thing they can do is choose to either support your decision or not but “permission” is not something you need from them. Having said that, the harsh reality of our world is that many women still seek permission from their in-laws and husbands and live under the pressure and fear of displeasing them. Something as simple as going over to meet their own parents requires them to beg and plead with their in-laws and husband. Much in line with this, a Twitter user recently opened up about how something as simple as wanting to catch up with a cousin would cause her anxiety as it would involve stroking her husband’s ego and begging and pleading. She also spoke about how far too many women relate to her tweet and how heartbreaking it is.

Taking to Twitter, a user opened up about her ex-husband and how the smallest things in her previous marriage would cause her anxiety. She further added that something as simple as wanting to meet her cousin who was visiting the US would require her to seek “permission”. And if a family member of hers was getting married, she had to beg and plead with her husband to get him to come along. She also spoke about how everything involved a lot of “ego-stroking”.

The Twitter user then went on to slam Indian men and their families for their deplorable behaviour while pointing out that most of them believe these things to be a matter of pride but it’s actually nothing to be proud of if one is controlling someone and causing them stress over little things like this.

Responding to her tweet, another user shared that she relates to it and apologised to her as she had to undergo this kind of behaviour. In response, the Twitter user said that she’s away from all of that now and her now-husband is laid-back while adding that it makes her wonder about all that she underwent when all she needed was “respect and humanity”.

TBH, I won’t say that I completely relate but this does remind me of the May 5, 2021, just 5 days into my marriage (love), my mother-in-law picked a fight with me and yelled at me for speaking to my mother on the call “too many time” a day. She also yelled at me for being on the call with my mother on the day of the wedding after my vidaai when I came home. While I wasn’t one to sit back and take it silently, I wonder what happens to the women who suffer in silence in order to maintain their relationships.

Also Read: Allahabad High Court Schools Husband, Says “Not Cruelty/Desertion If Wife Visits Her Parents Without Taking Husband’s Consent”

TBH, what kind of culture, relationships and values are we promoting if a woman is expected to end her relationship with her parents post-marriage and remain a puppet in the hands of her husband and in-laws and seek “permission” from them to speak to her parents or meet them or to simply live her life. And if you’re one of those, who “allows” his wife or daughter-in-law to do something, you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Janvi Manchanda

​​She uses her pen to slice through patriarchy. She could be Geet one day, Wednesday Addams next. Writing is the bane of her existence and the object of all her desires!

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