Feeling Anxious, Irritable Or Sad After Sex? It Could Be Post-Coital Dysphoria
Sex is a huge part of our lives and one of our most basic needs. But sex has a lot to do with our mental health and emotions as well. TBH, it makes us all vulnerable and even after having the best sex of our lives, it’s common for people to feel sad, irritable or even anxious for that matter. More so, if you have any underlying anxieties or concerns. If you’ve been feeling such emotions after having sexual intercourse or foreplay, chances are that you are experiencing post-coital dysphoria (PCD). Having PCD can be extremely confusing as most people fail to even identify the signs but it can have a negative impact on your mental health and wellbeing as well as your relationship with your partner. So, here’s everything you need to know about post-coital dysphoria.
What Is Post-Coital Dysphoria?
Experiencing negative emotions after sex could mean that you have post-coital dysphoria (PCD) also known as post-sex blues. People with PCD can also feel aggressive or agitated or even depressed after having sex with their partner. While anyone irrespective of gender or sexual orientation can experience PCD, studies claim that it is more common in women as compared to men. PCD can last from 5 minutes to 2 hours during which one may struggle to express their emotions and question their relationship and wonder if there are bigger issues at hand.
Causes Of PCD
– Underlying anxieties and unresolved issues could be the root cause of post-coital dysphoria. Sex can often bring your insecurities, doubts and inhibitions about your relationship with your partner to the surface and make you feel anxious and overwhelmed.
– Anyone experiencing stress or mental health issues like depression or anxiety can make one prone to PCD and lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety or cause behavioural issues.
– A history of sexual abuse, in childhood or otherwise, can put one at risk of post-coital dysphoria. A history of emotional, mental or physical abuse can also increase the chances of developing PCD. It can make you feel like you’re not in control of your sex life and make you feel resentful, angry, sad or anxious.
– It’s not uncommon for people to have sexpectations and when reality does not live up to their expectations of sex, it can incite feelings of disappointment or make them feel agitated.
– Postnatal depression also known as postpartum depression caused by hormonal fluctuations can increase the risk of post-coital dysphoria making one feel sad even after experiencing pleasure during sex.
Symptoms Of Post-Coital Dysphoria
– Tearfulness or crying after sexual intercourse
– Sadness
– Anger or frustration
– Irritability
– Feeling unsatisfied
– Stress
– Anxiety
– Depression
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Tips To Deal With It
– You can start by trying to understand the root cause of your post-coital dysphoria. Ask yourself what triggered the negative emotions and emotional turmoil. Try to figure out if you felt the negative emotions before having sex or did it start afterwards. Remember to ask yourself if you are reliving a traumatic event or abuse again.
– Ask yourself if you are satisfied with the sexual intercourse, physically and emotionally. Understand if you are happy with the way things happened and how you were treated or not or if you have any regrets.
– Post-coital dysphoria can make one feel guilty, sad, ashamed, unhappy or confused after sexual intercourse. The best way to deal with it is to seek professional help along with support from your partner, friends or family.
– Don’t be hard on yourself for feeling the way that you feel and do not put yourself down. Understand that whatever you are feeling is not your fault.
– Try to stay calm and focus on your breathing if you experience a rush of negative thoughts and emotions after having sex. Try to focus on the present instead of worrying about the future or thinking of worst-case scenarios and situations.
– Communicate with your partner and share your thoughts, emotions, feelings and worries. Try to resolve the underlying cause of PCD if you know it.
– Talk to a friend or a family member about your negative emotions and feeling after having sexual intercourse. Share your concerns and seek help from them in understanding the underlying cause and resolving the issue.
Also Read: 4 Ways Lack Of Sex Can Impact A Relationship. Here’s What To Do About It
If your partner is experiencing post-coital dysphoria or if you think they are stressed or worried after sex, the best way to help them cope is to ask them if they want to talk about it. Communication can go a long way in helping your partner deal with post-coital dysphoria. But understand if your partner does not wish to communicate their concerns immediately. Do not push them or feel offended. Give them their space and ask them if you can do anything to comfort them. Feel free to revisit the conversation after a few days.
