Signs That You Are Over Your Relationship, Way Before The Actual Breakup
Usually, when I break up, it’s much after I have already checked out in my head. So I used to be someone who would give her all, keep an immense amount of patience, fight for my relationship to work – even if I am the only one doing it. Eventually, I learnt that it’s just a big waste of time so I trained myself to identify the red flags early on and put myself over the fading romantic connection. But back then, there used to be a point after which I knew I have reached my threshold and beyond this either it gets better or he gets out. I would warn my boyfriend that this is it, our relationship is hanging by a thread and of course, a narcissist being a narcissist would pay no heed. Beyond that, I would know the breakup is inevitable. It’s just a matter of time before I say goodbye. That way, it helped me move on easily.
Point being, there are signs that can help you see that you are really over your relationship. In fact, it’s become toxic and you’re either resenting your partner or stopped giving two hoots for your partner. For me it was both. I would really resent his presence and personality and just anything he’d say. I realised I am so much more understanding and patient with just any other person. For instance, if my friend does something dumb, I’ll laugh; if he’d do something silly, I’d be like “ugh, why is he so annoying?” He would breathe and I might as well find that annoying. I didn’t care how he felt. That’s when I realised, it wouldn’t be fair for me to stay in this relationship any longer.
When someone on Reddit posted this question – how do you know that you are over your relationship – comments started pouring in and it was all just so relatable.
They start feeling like a chore
“When they ask you, “Hey, I’m making tacos, you want one?” and you’re like, “A taco? No thanks, I don’t want a taco.” But then you realize you do want a taco, you just don’t want their taco,” a user wrote. Ikr? If they ask you out for a movie and you’re just like ‘No!’ maybe it’s not the movie, it’s them. If they can make even your favourite activity feel like a chore, walk out of that door. I could be a poet.
Anything they do can annoy you
Another user explained, “Irritation when the other person does anything Like they’ll walk in the room and you’re just like EURGH what do you want now?! (In your head)” A user added, “When someone says their name to you and you give a sigh or a grimaced look on your face.” Well, if they look like the walking image of all the resentment there is, you’re definitely over the relationship.
You stop giving two hoots about them
Some people pointed out, it’s when they stop caring. “The opposite of love isn’t hate, its indifference. When I just stopped caring one way or another I knew I was done,” a user wrote. “When I don’t bother with an argument anymore. Bringing up issues and trying to find common ground/solutions signals I want to make things work, if I go total non confrontational and just go “fine” when something bothers me, the end is definitely near,” another person added. This is because you’ve already given up in your head. You are over the relationship because you know all that argument will lead to no solution.
You start picturing your life without them
You would rather be alone than with them. “I feel better when they’re working late/going out with friends/not around,” a user wrote. Another added, “Picturing/imagining what your life would be without that person in it.”
You don’t want physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is out of the picture too when you are over the relationship. “When I stop trying to cuddle with them in bed at night I know I’ve but space between us,” a user revealed.
You get attracted to others
You may start finding other people attractive. It will take a lot on your part to resist flirting with someone else because mentally you’re already single. “When I start noticing others attractive-ness. Not like I’m totally blind but if I’m checking out of a relationship, I start developing mild crushes,” a user pointed out.