8 Ground Rules You Must Set For A Healthy And Successful Relationship
Feed your love with boundaries!
They say love is blind and knows no bounds but boundaries are essential in order to have successful and healthy relationships. The lack of boundaries and ground rules can not only affect your relationship but also your mental health. This is why we all need some rules to make us feel safe, secure and comfortable in our romantic relationships. But every person is different and this means that all relationships are different so, how can all romantic relationships have the same ground rules? Well, the simple answer is that while all relationships are unique, there are some basic needs that every person has in a relationship and that means that some basic ground rules are just what we need for a healthy and successful relationship. So, without further ado, read on to find out all the rules you must set and follow for a happy love life.
1. ALWAYS Communicate
No matter how angry you are with your partner, avoid resorting to silent treatment. Your partner is not a mind reader and silence does no good to either of you or your relationship. The best way to go about this is to communicate with each other. But this doesn’t just apply to your fights, remember to also communicate with your partner even when you’re happy and let them know how you feel about them and about the relationship in order to keep things smooth.
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2. Don’t Be Each Other’s Punching Bags!
While communication is good and essential, it’s just as important to remember that your partner is not your punching bag. Vent your feelings to them, not on them. Apart from this, it’s also crucial that you don’t project your emotions onto them.
3. Have A Cooling Period!
Most couples try to communicate when they’re fighting but it’s impossible to have effective communication when you’re both high on emotions and there is chaos in your mind and your heart. This is why, make it a rule to walk away from fights and arguments and cool down before you try to communicate with each other again.
4. Physical AND Emotional Intimacy Matters
When I say physical intimacy, most of you must be thinking about sex and kissing but there’s more to intimacy than just that and no, I’m not talking about foreplay either. Little things like touching their shoulder, holding them around the waist, hugging and holding hands can go a long way in maintaining love and romance in your relationship. Another thing to remember is that emotional intimacy is also extremely important. All that touching and sex is of no use if you can’t bring your walls down and be emotionally vulnerable before your partner.
5. Speak Your Partner’s Love Language
Now, we all have a different love language and we often love our partners in our love language and treat them the way we want to be treated. But, that’s not how it should go. If your partner doesn’t know the language you speak, would you learn their language to communicate with them or expect them to learn yours? You’d learn, right? So, treat your partner the way THEY want to be treated. Love them the way they want to be loved. Take the effort to learn their love language in order to make them feel loved and avoid any kind of miscommunication or gap in your relationship.
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6. Keep The Past Out Of Your Present
We often keep a score of petty things like old arguments and what they said and did in the past or with they did with their past partners. The best way to have a healthy relationship is to keep the past out of your present. Don’t bring up the past fights in your present argument because it’ll only make matters worse. Do not use anything from the past as ammunition to support your current argument!
7. Date Nights And Me Time!
Plan date nights with each other regularly. You do not want a relationship with no romance and what better way to keep the romance alive than date nights? But remember that having personal space and me time is just as important as spending quality time with your partner. Take the time to go out with your own friends and social circle. There’s more to your life than just your partner and don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.
8. Don’t Get Personal
It’s not uncommon for couples to get personal and attack each other during a fight. But personal attacks do you no good. Remember that the aim of the argument is not to just fight but to communicate and resolve issues. It’s not you vs them, it’s both of you vs the problem! Stay away from the blame game, personal attacks, cursing, threatening and physical or emotional violence during a fight.
9. Put Unresolved Issues To Rest Before Bed!
The one most important rule of a healthy and successful relationship is to never hit the bed before you put your unresolved argument to bed. Not only does this affect your sleep but it also takes a toll on your relationship. You will wake up angry or upset. Moreover, if you sleep without resolving your fight, it will only fester and get worse. It’s best to make peace before you hit the bed but doesn’t resolve fights with sex!
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10. Don’t Enable Each Other
Many of us first forgive our partners for things that we cannot live with and then go on and complain about it when they do it again. For example, if your partner breaks things during a fight, you forgive them when they apologise but do not set a boundary. This might lead to them doing it again and by forgiving it and not setting a boundary you’re, essentially, enabling them. Do not enable bad behaviour and set a boundary. Even if makes you uncomfortable to communicate it to them, you must find a way to do it in a healthy manner without an ultimatum but remember to be firm about your boundary.
Love is like a plant. You can’t just get it home and expect it to survive, can you? You must water it and give it the sunlight it needs to survive. In the same way, you must nurture your relationship and love and feed it more love to help it survive and remain healthy.
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