5 Ways To Cope With Situationship Heartbreaks
From the time I started writing when I was a kid, I used the power of my words to express myself. Whether it was writing about what I thought about a particular text in English class or writing my understanding of history chapters, I’ve always written to express. And that is one thing that has stayed with me throughout. Now, of course, my style of writing has evolved and now I express my opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc. more and more but at the same time, I now use my writing to share little anecdotes from my life. I believe that the personal touch from a writer makes whatever I write even more special. And anyone who has ever read my work knows how much I like sharing my personal experiences with my readers. This time around is also the same. Today, I’m going to let you in on one of my most personal experiences—my experience of being in a situationship and dealing with heartbreaks that descend when these situationships end.
For those who don’t know what a situationship is, it is an “almost relationship” where you’re not in an official relationship with the person but you’re not even just friends. It simply implies that none of the people involved in the relationship are looking to label it and are choosing to go with the flow. It’s a non-committed relationship where y’all act as though you are in a relationship.
Like many people out there, I was also in a situationship. Back then, I did not know that the space I was in was called a situationship but now I do. And yes, people who believe that being in a situationship is like being in a grey space are right, but grey is never all that bad. At least for me, it wasn’t. I was in a grey space with a man that I knew was too good to be true and I had some of the best times of my life with him. But just like all good things come to an end, our situationship also came to an end. Why? Well, there were many reasons for it just like how there were many reasons why we didn’t make our relationship official.
But for me, the most difficult part about getting over the situationship was not just the heartbreak, it was the fact that I did not have anyone to talk to about it. Why? Because people around me, my closest friends, dismissed it off stating that it wasn’t a real relationship and that means it wasn’t a real heartbreak. And for the longest time, I believed that to be true and tried moving ahead in life. But it was recently that I realised that my dismissing off my situationship with him was my way of also believing that what we shared was unreal. And that wasn’t true. Even today, we both know that the things we shared were as real as any other “official” relationship.
Reaching that realisation took a lot of time and effort. Why? Because I was alone. I had no one I could talk to about my feelings without them making me feel as though what I was feeling with regards to my situationship breakup was invalid. And I know that now things have changed, but trust me when I say this, that there are still people out there who are going through situationship breakups and find themselves completely alone and are looking for the closure they deserve.
Now, I know I can’t change or pressure someone to be there and change their perspective on situationships but what I can do is share some of the ways that helped me get over my situationship heartbreak. Because I know that coping with a situationship heartbreak can be as painful as being in one at times.
Here are 5 ways that you can opt to cope with your situationship heartbreaks:
1. Don’t be friends with your ex
I’m not saying you can not be friends with your ex, but it makes absolutely no sense to be friends with your situationship ex. Why? Because of the fact that you’ve always been in a grey space with them, so it is easier to slip back to the same space if you continue on with the friendship.
2. Distract yourself with productivity
I know it hurts and it will hurt much more if you are constantly thinking about it. Now, I know you cannot stop thinking about it but you can always distract yourself to be productive. Learn new things/skills or sharpen your old ones, but be productive.
3. Claim your feelings about the heartbreak
This is a must. Like me, don’t dismiss your feelings as invalid and unreal because others can’t see what you shared. Accept them, own them, and claim them. Trust me that is the only way forward.
4. Treat yourself
A little shopping spree or a salon date or coffee/lunch/dinner date by yourself never hurt anyone. You know what you deserve so why wait for someone else to give it to you? Why not give it to yourself by yourself?
5. Go on a solo trip
A change of location and meeting new people has always helped me get better clarity in life and I think they can help with getting over heartbreaks too. Take yourself somewhere you’ve not been before. Who knows you might find something new about yourself or find someone else completely?
Situationships are as real and valid as mainstream relationships. This also means that situationship breakups are also real and justified. For those going through it, hold on because it will get better. And for those who know someone that is going through it, don’t dismiss it, hear them out, give it as much attention and validation as a real relationship because for them you might be the only person they can trust.