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5 Signs Your Sex Life Is Getting Monotonous And Could Use A Little Spice

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As much as people would like to hold on to their delusion that sex means nothing, it actually does hold immense power. It releases the love hormone in your body and stimulates the same area of the brain that love does. So, in a long-term relationship, it acts as a lubricant to keep feelings of excitement and ardor flowing. But when it happens in a casual relationship, you struggle with not catching feelings for the guy who is spooning you post-coitus. Sex also has an impact on your self-esteem and mood. This is why I feel that your sex life getting monotonous shouldn’t be treated with a laidback attitude.

It’s not like sexual desires abandon the ship; you still respond to sexual stimuli, like a hot scene in a movie. You still masturbate diving deep into your fantasies and touching yourself the way you like to be handled. And I hope your bedroom isn’t completely dead and cremated. Over a period of time, long-term couples begin to have sex less often, and with lesser enthusiasm. There used to be a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. And now, your mind wanders off to the pizza you should order in the middle of sex. Is your sex life getting monotonous? Here are 5 signs it is.


You exactly know the way your sex sesh will play out

It’s funny how you know exactly what will happen between reaching your bed and lying on it, with messed up hair and hyperventilating in pleasure. You know all the cues that tell you when he is going to go down on you, when it’s time for you to go down on him and how long it will take you to come. Oh, well, it’s like you have the menu memorised.

“Usually the first reason long-term couples give for fading desire is familiarity—excitement requires some amount of novelty and uncertainty, both of which fall to the unstoppable march of familiarity. Yes, but no. If you feel that you know your partner too well, then perhaps you have fallen into a rut of just doing all that same old stuff. More of the same can indeed lose its spark. Perhaps your partner has some new desires or fantasies that they haven’t shared yet—or some really old ones that they never shared,” says Psychology Today. A little novelty won’t hurt!

You lose interest in the middle of making out

Even when things start with passion, you find it hard to stay focused on your monotonous sex life. Your mind wanders off to non-sexual thoughts and before you know it, you’re trying to orgasm to the visuals of your ceiling fan. That could probably be the reason why you cannot!

Sex feels pleasant but not passionate

The sex isn’t bad, you still feel all those butterflies in your stomach but instead of fluttering vehemently, they are doing a graceful ballet in there. It’s alright, but if once in a while, your heart doesn’t race whilst in his arms, it’s time to spice up your monotonous sex life. You can read up on how to spice up your sex life and try out novel kinks together!

You have stopped talking about sex

Yes, you must discuss your day and how that colleague was mean to you or your take on journalism’s deteriorating standards. But hey, communicating about sex will keep both of you in the loop of each other’s desires and latest fantasies. In fact, talking about sex can lead to things getting hot and horny, which will work as a great build-up for sex.

“You may want to ask them in a moment of passion (such as it is) if there is anything else that turns them on, or that they would like to try. You may also want to have a discussion when fully dressed, explaining that you are happy overall with this relationship (if true), but that you would like to have a more fiery sex life, then ask what would make things more exciting for your partner. This probably won’t be a one and done conversation. And it will probably be at least a little awkward, but hang in there,” says Psychology Today.

ALSO READ: Reasons Why Long-Term Couples Are Having Less Sex, According To A Study

You always have something else to do

If you prefer cleaning your wardrobe over canoodling bae then your sex life is getting monotonous. Okay, cleaning and organising are pleasurable and there are genuinely things to do. But if you catch yourself not getting excited at the prospects of naked hugging bae, it’s time to pay attention to the reasons. Scheduling sex can be a good option for couples who find it difficult to make time due to responsibilities!

ALSO READ: 5 Thoughts You Have When He Orgasms But You Don’t


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