What Women Really Want: Is To Not Be Judged And Shamed Anymore For These Things

‘She looks like a baby elephant, ‘tum sunscreen lagaya karo’, ‘you should eat more if you want to gain some weight’, ‘she’s 26, shaadi kab hogi uski?” Enough! For how long will society judge us women and our every move? It’s time we put an end to this narrow, restrictive mentality and let women live their lives in a way that suits them. As a feminist working for a feminist platform, I look forward to women’s day. But this year, I saw this day for what it really was- an irony. All year long people mistreat, harass, scrutinize and judge women and on this one day, suddenly everyone is praising women, writing poems about our strength and resistance and giving away pink and girly products. It’s time it stops. Women need to be appreciated more and not judged. We rounded up a few things that all women are shamed for, take a look!

For Our Skin Colour
If you think racism and colourism only exist in countries like the USA, you are either ignorant or sorely mistaken. Growing up, I dreaded social gatherings because every time my relatives saw me, they would pass remarks on my skin colour. ‘Iski shaadi kaisi hogi?’ ‘isko fairnlovely lagao’ ‘bahar dhoop mein mat khela karo’. Thanks to all this shaming, my self-esteem reached new lows and I grew up with a major inferiority complex especially when it came to my fairer-skinned cousins. But this isn’t just my sob story. India’s obsession with fair skin has made millions of women feel like they aren’t good enough to be included. We are barely represented in Bollywood movies. And even when we are, it’s neither here nor there. Enough is enough now. We need to be judged on our talent, merits, accomplishments rather than how dark our skin is.

Also Read: What Women Really Want: Is Men To Stop Interrupting Us And Suppressing Our Voices

For Our Weight
Fun fact: telling a skinny girl she needs to put on weight is as insulting as telling a curvy woman she needs to lose weight. They’re both forms of body-shaming and we’re sick of hearing people telling us how our bodies need to look. What is this obsession with women’s weight? The shape and size of my body is no one’s business but mine. Why must skinny women be compared to hangers or be called ‘haddi’? Or why must curvy women be compared to elephants and mocked? It’s unnecessary, ruthless and it causes every woman out there to be extremely uncomfortable in her own skin. But maybe that’s exactly what our patriarchal society subconsciously wants.

For Our Life Decisions
Have you ever stopped to think about how none of a woman’s decisions is ever her own? Our families, greatly influenced by the patriarchal society, decide who we marry, when we marry, what we study, how much we study (because god forbid we are overqualified than the boys!), when we have children and of course, how many children we have. Even our careers revolve around when we have to get married. However, now, the world has come to a point where the women are making their own life decisions but are being severely harassed and judged for them. People make it their business when a woman chooses to marry late in life or prioritizes her career over having kids. It’s not, though, is it? We need to normalize women making their own choices and not being judged and shamed for them.

For Our Sexual Agencies
Answer me this. Why can’t women enjoy sex without being deemed a slut? If a man goes and has sex with multiple women he called a ‘player’ and treated like the alpha. But if we choose to have multiple partners, society will drag our names through the mud and assassinate our characters to shreds. In the same way, if we choose not to have sex, men call us prudes and mock us for being too uptight. Can’t we just make our own decisions about our sexualities and how active we want to be without all the extra noise?

For Being Assertive
When a man is assertive and knows what he wants, he is praised and called determined. However, if a woman is the same way she is called hysterical and told to not let her emotions get the best of her. Why can’t a woman know what she wants? Since childhood, we are trained to be submissive and docile. I was once called me ‘aggressive’ when I told her I definitely didn’t want to do something. Women need to be not judged for being assertive and taking control of their lives.

https://thehauterfly.com/culture-2/things-women-really-want-men-to-do-on-international-womens-day/