In A Generation Where Most People Are Opting To Go Childless, Here’s Why I Want To Be A Mother
I feel like a popular opinion in my generation is the fact that most people do not want children and most of them (majorly women) are pushing against the norm that having kids is a necessity. And honestly, in today’s economy, who can blame them? Most of my friends have told me that they don’t want children because they don’t want to pass on the trauma their parents put them through; which is completely valid. However, the more I talk to people about parenthood and children the more I feel like my own opinion is kinda unpopular (within my age group at least) i.e. I would like to be a mother; with or without a partner. Now while this might seem like a pretty popular opinion in terms of our society but I feel like whenever I have told people my age about this, they look at me like I am crazy. So this Mother’s Day, I would like to speak about why I personally would like to be one.
Since I was a child, I feel I have been empathetic and nurturing. It is to an extent that even now, I am the ‘mom’ friend of most of the friend groups I am a part of. I tend to be protective, and nurturing and have this constant need to take care of the people in my life. And might I add, I have a very soft spot for babies. Something about the innocence on their face and purity in their aura has always made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not to mention how small and absolutely chubby they are! I do agree that they are high maintenance, VERY high maintenance. And while I don’t do high maintenance, I am willing to make an exception for my child.
I personally see motherhood as a very interesting journey of sorts. Call it romanticisation but I feel like there is some sense of security and purity in the unadulterated, unconditional love a parent has for their child(ren) which cannot be found in any other type of relationship. And yes, I am aware that while all this sounds lovely, it comes with its own set of challenges. But I personally want to experience feeling that kind of unquestioning and innocent love towards another being. I feel like all the challenges are worth it when you experience that. Plus, I also see a certain beauty in seeing a person’s entire journey, from birth to adulthood. I believe I would have a sense of accomplishment and pride when I see my child grow up to be a good adult.
Full disclosure: I do not want to birth a child but rather adopt one as I personally do not care about the whole khoon ka rishta thing that everyone seems to obsess with. I know myself enough to know I can love and accept any child as my own, it doesn’t matter. I also believe that there is beauty in a chosen family. For years I convinced myself that I wouldn’t want to be a parent because that is what everyone around me was saying. And I still do agree with all the reasons I have heard of not wanting to be a parent. But recently I read this book by Benjamin Alire Sáenz named Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. I absolutely adore all the parental figures in that book. There are these dialogues shared between Aristotle (Ari) and his mother in the story:
“How can you love me so much?”
“How could I not love you? You’re the most beautiful boy in the world.”
Also Read: Evelyn Sharma Opens Up About Sharing Breastfeeding Pictures, Calls Motherhood A Full-Time Job
And that’s when it clicked for me; this is the type of gentle and nurturing mother I would want to be. Because as much of the nihilistic pessimist that I am, this is the one thing I am pretty optimistic about. I feel like there are nuances to being a parent that people miss. The bitter-sweet feeling of seeing how fast a child grows up, witnessing all of their firsts, watching them grow up to have their own opinions, perspectives, passions and interests and finally, watching them take what you taught them into the world and be good people. These are the intricacies that parenthood brings you that people don’t talk about. Yes, there are a lot of sacrifices and hurdles to deal with on the way, but these small moments of tiny victories are what make being a mother worth it to me.