What Are Things That Feel Like Feminism But Actually Aren’t? Twitter Thread Proves We’ve A Lot Of Unlearning To Do
If you’re a man (or woman) who came here for some feminist bashing, I suggest you turn around, sir. We’re here to talk some serious, certainly controversial, but rather educational stuff. Feminism, the word and the movement, has always been on the receiving end of flak from those who don’t want the power balance to tilt. But lately, a lot of the criticism has suddenly started seeming fair, because there are those who wrap themselves in the flag of feminism but end up corrupting its purpose. On the surface, it might appear as feminist, but these actions and ideals are morally dubious and end up hurting the movement and pulling down the progress over the years. Pseudo-feminism sucks.
How does that happen? Well, for starters, improper, half-baked knowledge about the purpose of feminism. It’s certainly not hating men or imposing women as superior. As Jane Galvin Lewis said, you don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman. You don’t also have to be anti-feminine and hate women for pursuing feminine interests because you think being more like men is the answer to equality. And of course, if you think that by putting down anyone’s personal experience and struggle, you’ll be upholding your own womanly truth, then that’s not feminism either.
Recently, Twitter user Dr. Mary McAuliffe, who is a historian and an Assistant Professor of Gender Studies at University College of Dublin, posed a question to her followers—what are some things that seem feminist but are actually not?
What’s something that feels like feminism, but *isn’t* actually feminism?
— Dr Mary McAuliffe (@MaryMcAuliffe4) November 12, 2020
Interesting thing to ponder, isn’t it? We all think our idea of feminism is correct. And yet, consciously or subconsciously, we may be doing things that are opposed to the very essence of he movement. Let’s also not forget that these movements evolve with time, and what might have seemed the right approach earlier, might be too rigid or limiting in the time right now.
A lot of the responses revolved around not shaming women for being interesting in doing ‘womanly’ things, not abusing the feminist movement for personal gain or not hating men with absolution. Not just women, even men chimed in with their own examples.
Yes, this. E.g. when a woman complains, "I'm really tired and I just can't find any time to get my own work done," and the chorus starts: "Cherish this time! It's so short! You'll miss it when it's gone!"
— Dr. Naila Moreira (@nailamoreira) November 12, 2020
— Jean 🦉🌿📚 (@jelourai) November 13, 2020
Thrashing women for choosing adoption over childbirth.
— 'bout Time (@nolamke) November 12, 2020
ICYMI, Harry Potter author JK Rowling has been branded a TERF which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminist, which does not recognise the gender identity of trans women as women. And that kind of radical feminism that reeks of transphobia is not feminism.
Please do
— Dr Mary McAuliffe (@MaryMcAuliffe4) November 12, 2020
Also, treating “womanhood” as this “universal experience” that every woman experiences identically. (And if you can’t relate to someone’s experience, they are automatically disqualified from being a woman!)
— golvio (@golvio) November 13, 2020
— BillieRubenMake had the best time @ ERRF_2022❤️ (@BillieRubenMake) November 13, 2020
That is a good one. It doesn't make logical sense to claim you're fighting for women's rights to do what they want with their bodies but then demonizing them doing what they want with their bodies 🤔 So much hypocrisy in this world.
— Barnacules Nerdgasm ™️ (@Barnacules) November 13, 2020
Guess what’s also not feminism? Thinking that women must act more masculine to assert their strength.
https://twitter.com/Sarahndipity44/status/1327022649923559424?s=20
https://twitter.com/AlvaghCronin/status/1326820719196598274?s=20
Hating on Barbie, pink things, makeup, princesses and any traditionally-feminine girls toys/clothes/interests.
My fierce-and-feminine daughter taught me that princesses can be warriors too.
— Kathryn Hore (@kahmelb) November 13, 2020
Just because you want to support women and their progress, doing that for the heck of it does not help! You have to hold them up to the same standards as you would anyone else in their position. Especially when it comes to politics.
https://twitter.com/aifreckle/status/1326854343291793408?s=20
Say it louder for all the "Yassss Queeeeenzzz" and #GirlBosses. Substance matters. Competence matters. Plenty of women are capable and worthy of office, and plenty of the current officials don't deserve it. Same with men. Let's hold all public servants accountable.
— (social media fasting) Ómid M. (@moids) November 12, 2020
So true – the ‘girl power’ nonsense was so not feminism
— Dr Mary McAuliffe (@MaryMcAuliffe4) November 12, 2020
Ah! The ol'
"I'll write a 'strong female character' by writing a (toxic) male one and then just getting a woman to play it!"
— BillieRubenMake had the best time @ ERRF_2022❤️ (@BillieRubenMake) November 13, 2020
When (usually rich white) women think they are being “strong women” and “self-advocates” but they’re actually just being rude to service workers
— Lizzy (@someonelizz on BlueSky too) (@someonelizz) November 12, 2020
https://twitter.com/Aminatta_/status/1326994491191021571?s=20
https://twitter.com/worldsfirstblep/status/1327151927088599045?s=20
Some responses might come as a surprise, like this one that says granting women employees maternity leaves is actually not feminist. However, these people came armed with well laid out arguments.
https://twitter.com/Scarletang100/status/1326855264071528449?s=20
It has been a hard learning process for me to stop upholding men as heroes just because they do basic things for women (like sharing domestic chores, etc.) that they should’ve been doing always.
https://twitter.com/Notathome8/status/1326890846785048576?s=20
Dads taking on some of the childcare duties. It's rarely ever close to an equal dustribution and yet they are lauded like heroes. They are generally only doing a portion of what working mothers have been doing for eons.
— Dr Whitney Standlee (@was925) November 12, 2020
Also, say no to toxic femininity, darling!
https://twitter.com/eimsley/status/1326943025063407629?s=20
^^^ this. It’s still patriarchy if the structure is there, even if the sex of the person participating in patriarchy it’s flipped (see Amy Comey Barrett)
— Mary (@MaryAileenC) November 13, 2020
Remember, when Rahul Bose’s character ‘allowed’ his wife to work in Dil Dhadakne Do? Yep, so not a feminist ally.
https://twitter.com/keltickaty/status/1327120058301227008?s=20
Or the whole work-life balance sham that never seems to work out for women because hellooo, our life is always work!
Oh yes, there’s that
— Dr Mary McAuliffe (@MaryMcAuliffe4) November 12, 2020
You know how every time men have to be discouraged from hurting a woman or being insensitive or mean to to her, the thing that’s said to them is “Ghar mein maa-behen nahi hai kya?” Or “What if this was your mother/sister/daughter in this situation?” Erm, that shouldn’t be the only way to shake their conscience awake, no? Men need to respect women regardless of the existence of blood relations with them!
https://twitter.com/impairedheart/status/1326985704652632065?s=20
Also Read: Female-Led Workplaces Have So Much Potential, If Only We Could Get Rid of Toxic Femininity. Why Do Women Bully Women?
Like I said before, feminism is quite the debatable topic! So naturally, when certain views were expressed, it invited a lot of discourse.
Shaming women who actually WANT to do feminine things like being a stay at home mother, cooking for their significant other, desiring to be in a relationship, prioritizing their families. 🙄😳 I’m sorry what? So the only women who deserve respect are the ones acting like men?
— P Money$ (@TheAvidAquarian) November 12, 2020
I said nothing about cooking/ cleaning being a woman’s role. 🙄
I said women are shamed for being feminine in nature. Regardless of outdated gender roles, femininity & masculinity are different energies with different behaviors. And I am not ashamed of my feminine behaviors.
— P Money$ (@TheAvidAquarian) November 12, 2020
Explain “acting like men” … does acting like men mean refusing to do housework? Does it mean choosing career over family? If yes, is it ok for men to act that way? If yes, why can’t women act that way?
— KneeMan (@thegrumpygrinch) November 13, 2020
One of the things that some women on this thread discussed was how writing the word ‘feminist’ in your social media bio is a good way of turning away creepy men, or in some cases, putting this bullseye on your back because the trolls and feminist bashers will come to pick a fight with you. And it’s sad, isn’t it, that feminism gets shrouded in all this negativity and misunderstanding because of the fallacious approach of a few.
Hopefully, twitter threads like these can help spread awareness about the real, uncorrupted essence of feminism and take the movement ahead!
