Am I Being My Own Biggest Critic? How To Catch And Kill Negative Self-Talk!
Self-talk is a part of our daily lives, it’s a running monologue which we have with ourselves as the day proceeds, it helps us in making decisions and determining choices. That inner voice is a combination of our conscious thoughts, unconscious beliefs and biases. This self-talk can be both positive and negative. For instance, before giving a big speech we often reassure ourselves that we can do it, this positive reassurance builds up our confidence and calm our fears.
Whereas many of us also experience self-doubt in the form of negative self-talk, we question our capability, our choices, our decisions and basically ourselves. This kind of self-talk leaves us feeling ‘not-good-enough’ and paralyses us into inaction. Read ahead to learn how to curb this negativity.
The Question Approach To Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk often goes undetected since it seems like a realistic appraisal of a situation and devolves into a fear-based fantasy. Its detection can be possible by asking ourselves a set of questions:
1. Do you believe you have the potential to achieve your goal?
2. Are you doubting yourself because of the possibility of failure or some other fear?
3. What you are saying to yourself, will you say it to a good friend or a child?
4. Are your thoughts influenced by your current mood or feelings?
Answering these questions honestly will help you differentiate between negative self-talk and genuine concerns about a situation or problem. This can help you find the light out of the negative tunnel and towards a more neutral ground.
Toning It Down Further
After the detection and pausing of this talk, we also need to try to tone down that harsh and ruthless critic inside us. This is possible by taking a few steps towards positivity.
1. Give Your Inner Critic A Goofy Nickname
For example, you can name it ‘Devdas’. Who, like in the movie finds all the worst things and possibilities in life. This will help you separate the negativity from yourself and think more clearly.
2. Try To Limit The ‘Negativity Quota’ Of The Day
It’s hard to quit a habit right away so, try this method. Dedicate a certain time of the day to be critical of yourself, this will satisfy your need to be critical and also help you stop negative self-talk throughout the day.
Also Read: Fatphobia At Its Peak: Things Fat People Have To Hear On A Daily Basis
3. Try To Avoid Using Extreme Words
Avoid using words like ‘never’, ‘always’, and ‘impossible’ and shift to a gentler language. Shifting to words like ‘might’, maybe’, ‘sometimes’ and ‘harder’ instead of this harsh language can make room for you to see the positive even in the negative.
4. Question your inner critic’s honesty
Try to spend some time on every thought they put in your head and cross-examine how true they are. This can help you create room for positivity behind the shadow of credible doubt.
5. Ask Yourself If This Point Will Matter In Five years
Broaden your perspective to reduce its intensity on yourself. Try to view everything in the long run and find out if it actually matters. This helps you see the broader picture and of course, makes you feel better.
6. Try Saying It Out Loud
Sometimes, the thoughts put into our heads by the inner critic are absolutely dumb and without a base. So, doing this might make you realize how unreasonable and unrealistic your critic sounds.
Being your own critic and questioning your decisions is not a bad habit. We all need to do it to improve and evolve into our best selves. Only after knowing our flaws can we overcome them and who else knows us better than ourselves. But it’s very important to draw boundaries in your own criticism. We should learn to give ourselves some slack and some room for mistakes. Keep our inner voice as positive and motivating as possible. Remember the fact that, every positive self-talk builds us up a little bit but, every negative self-talk cuts us down a lot.
Also Read: Palak Tiwari Shares How She Handles Trolls And Negativity
