The Vicious Cycle Of Orgasm Gap: Why Can’t Men Make Our Pussies Pur?
Sex may be a bodily need but that doesn’t mean that we all get to enjoy an orgasm. Much like the world outside, the bedroom is also riddled with inequality in terms of orgasms. Like the pay gap and gender inequality, there’s something called the orgasm gap aka the pleasure gap. It refers to the disparity between heterosexual men and women in bed. The unequal frequency in achieving orgasm during sexual encounters between men and women is called the orgasm gap. According to research, about 91% men experience orgasms as compared to 64% women who experience the Big O. And the cold hard truth is that the orgasms gap continues to widen despite all the talk about women’s pleasure and sexual empowerment.
A recent study by Rutgers found that men and women have more orgasms, they want and expect more but when they climax lesser, their desire to enjoy sex also lessens. This means that when women have fewer orgasms, they do not want or expect more in bed. Basically, when you experience fewer orgasms you expect lesser which in turn widens the orgasm gap instead of doing anything to bridge it. In other words, what we have going right now is actually a vicious cycle of orgasm gap.
But Why Do We Have Orgasm Gap?
While several researchers say that women’s pleasure is tougher to achieve and takes longer, it’s orgasm, haua nahi hai! This inequality in bed has a lot to do with a lack of understanding about women’s bodies and cultural ignorance of female pleasure. Women and their sexualities have been suppressed for the longest time and women have time and again been told to not be vocal about their desires and pleasure. It was only after a conversation about sex and women’s pleasure with my mother and aunts, that I realised that the women of the previous generation do not even know what an orgasm is. They haven’t experienced it and for them, sex was simply a mechanical thing they did for their husbands’ pleasure and to reproduce. The systematic and cultural ignorance of women’s pleasure has put them in this place where they never saw sex as a bodily need or as something to derive pleasure from.
Having said that, there’s also a huge lack of awareness about women’s pleasure. Even with all the conversations about the hush-hush lady parts and female pleasure, most people still remain unaware of the fact that most women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. Women need more than just a penis hammering inside their vaginal canal to experience pleasure. A big reason behind this is also the sexism in the scientific industry. Researched Elisabeth Lloyd reviewed the most prominent studies about female sexuality and orgasm in 2006 in a study and questioned their integrity. She claimed that the research about female orgasms has been affected by androcentric assumptions about the female body. Scholar Angela Towne also said that the androcentric focus on the vaginal canal as the female sex organ is the reason behind the orgasm gap.
Also Read: Orgasm Control, A Kink That Can Make You Orgasm Harder!
Apart from this, women haven’t been vocal about their pleasures, desires, needs and bodies. That contributes majorly to the lack of sexual satisfaction amongst women and their pleasure takes a backseat. Another thing to note is the lack of sex education among men about women, their bodies and their pleasure. The portrayal of sex and women’s pleasure in media and porn has also affected or rather widened the orgasm gap. I mean, we all know that porn is all about male pleasure.
How Can We End This Vicious Cycle Of Orgasm Gap?
The only way to put an end to this vicious cycle of orgasm gap is to educate men and communicate with them and teach them how to make our pussies purr.
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