Minissha Lamba Challenges The Stigma Around Divorces. Most Women Are Now Comfortable With Finding Love Again
When Minissha Lamba joined Bollywood, people just loved her vibrant smile, her bubbly and strong personality. She is most loved for her roles in Bachna Ae Haseeno, Honeymoon Travels, and Yahaan. There’s just something about the way she carries herself that says she’s a woman that’s strong, cheerful, and a go-getter. She will thrill you with her presence and she knows that. So when Lamba announced of her divorce, people just wanted to know if she’s okay. Yes, Indians are sentimental fools. We get concerned about people we’ve been watching on-screen, even if we don’t know them in person. See how we got so excited for Virat and Anushka’s baby? Nick Jonas is the national jiju.
Turns out, Minissha Lamba is all set and thriving, just like you’d expect her to! She announced her divorce with restaurateur Ryan Tham in 2020. She is finally speaking of her separation from Tham after being with him for five years. She said that it is good to get separated if things don’t work out instead of staying in a dead marriage where you’re not happy. Lamba said divorces no more are stigmatized and one should take that leap out if they want to instead of just staying because of society and family.
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“Life goes on and the important thing is to be happy. If something is not working, part ways amicably. Today we have options for that; there is no stigma attached to separation,” Minissha Lamba told Times Of India. I think it’s best to be cordial instead making the separation a mud-slinging process. You know it’s easier to heal that way. In fact, I feel everybody wants their marriage to work and nobody does things to hurt the other person intentionally. Whatever it is, for your sake, let it go while you can still do it without hurting each other too much. I mean, yes, try your best to make your marriage work but it’s for you to decide when you’ve reached the dead end.
However, not every society is accepting towards divorces. Many people are not able to take that step, maybe because of family pressure, financial instability and societal distress. It’s on them to decide if they can stand up for themselves and cross these obstacles, while heading towards full personal autonomy.
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Minissha Lamba has not gone bitter towards love. She is maintaining her positive outlook and how. She said, “Everyone is open to love, the dizziness, the craziness of love. Which woman won’t be open to love?” She said if someone has walls up because of a bad experience, in time, those walls will go down. “She may have had a bad experience and she may say she doesn’t want it but if it comes knocking on the door, she will break down the walls and let it in,” she explained.
I fiercely support this. When we are younger, maybe when we break up with our first love, we think it won’t happen again. We get so disheartened, build the Great Wall of China around our hearts and refuse to fall in love again. But when it comes knocking at our doorstep, we love again. We open ourselves to accepting affection, because in the end, we want that. Everyone wants it – whether they are aware of it or not. Which is why, I never let breakups make me a bitter person. I won’t blame love or say that it is not worth it. Dear men, please get over the heartbreak you’ve had in 1997 with a girl you dated for six months. Stop going around being commitment phobic and making the people who fall for you afraid of the dating pool as well. Look at Minissha Lamba, look at us women excelling at healing!
After Katrina Kaif broke up with Ranbir and he started dating her friend Alia Bhatt (awkward!), she told DNA, “I will tell you something important. A certain thing is already playing out in a certain manner. My reaction to it makes no difference. I can sit here and feel anger and bitterness. I can make myself unhappy. Or I can take into consideration that, how miserable I am makes no difference to anyone else. So, instead, I can lighten my own burden and say — let me be happy and at peace. And what is meant for me, will come my way.”
Dia Mirza, post her separation, revealed that her work had been keeping her sane. “Any major life change is challenging, painful and difficult but the work is cathartic. This is what helps you grow and keeps your pursuit of happiness alive. And I am fortunate that the kind of work that I do gives me the opportunity to deal with the pain better. I want to just go out there and keep finding my voice and keep empowering myself and others,” she said in an interview.
Avantika Malik, on the other hand, shared a cryptic post on Instagram that spoke about how both marriages and divorces are hard. The quote read, “Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.”
ALSO READ: Avantika Malik Shared How Both Marriages And Divorces Are Difficult. You Got To “Choose Your Hard”
Ileana D’cruz had shared a cryptic message post her separation too. “In life, you’re going to lose friends, family, and partners, but no matter who walks out of your life, never lose yourself. The most important thing is to learn how to do is to love yourself when you feel unloved by those around you and be there for yourself when you feel like you have no one,” the quote posted by Ileana read.
If anything, I believe it’s important to love yourself and focus on healing instead of storing negativity in your heart. That’s how I deal with breakups too.