Yes, I Hug And Kiss My Best Friend, Why Do People Refuse To Understand The Importance Of Platonic Intimacy?
Imagine going out with your best friend in the world. You haven’t seen her for a while and therefore, you get overwhelmed upon seeing each other so, you run to hug each other and you plant a kiss on her cheek, telling your bestie just how much you missed her. Sounds like the best moment in the whole wide world, doesn’t it? Then, why do we make such displays of physical affection and platonic intimacy seem awkward, wrong or just awfully over-sexualised?
We live in a world in which there’s literally no time to stop, everybody is constantly on the run for their jobs and lives. This makes the moments where you meet and unwind with your closest friends, extremely rare. Then, why shouldn’t you express your affection towards each other? Why is a love-laced hug or even an adorably overwhelming kiss, judged for something else? It’s even worse for guys because people believe that guys who showcase physical intimacy with their friends are just gay. I know, the most absurd thought process ever. People just don’t understand the relationships that are shared by best friends, we need to rectify this, huh?
Understanding The Relationship Shared By Best Friends
The very relationship or dynamic that most people tend to share with their best friends is beyond adorable. I mean, here’s this one person whom you would choose to share everything with, no lies or barriers. A person whom you trust and love with all your heart. They are the platonic soulmates that you love and trust with all your heart. If you’re lucky enough to find someone like that, it feels awful when people sexualise your relationship, isn’t it? All extremely intimate friendships are specific to who we are as people because sometimes, people change so, the intimacy levels also depend individually on each friendship and the love languages of everyone involved.
Years after high school, me and some of my closest friends have maintained some of the closest relationships. The friend whom I used to tie a rakhi on Rakshabandhan still gets his rakhis on time and the friend whom I was insanely close with, we still meet regularly and keep in touch. I value them a lot. For me and my best friend from college, intimacy means making time for each other. I love her with all my heart because she is one of the only few people with that I can be honestly and entirely be myself. After all the times we have spent with each other, we know each other like the back of our hands. We’re always there for each other and every time we meet, we hug each other like there’s no tomorrow.
Meanwhile, with one of my closest best friends as an adult, she has been a genuine source of support for me because she is literally another version of me. We write together and spend time with each other. We share the same thought processes and she has a piece of my heart to hold and cherish forever. It’s the same for her. But, we don’t really live close to each other so our love language is communication. We aren’t as physically connected as much as mentally and emotionally connected. We support and heal each other and that’s our love language.
But at the end of the day, why is it that one can choose to invest their love and time into their romantic partners but, spending the same time with your friends seems like it’s excessive for people? Why shouldn’t you prioritise friendships as the most essential part of your life? I totally do it. I connect with my best friends and remind them that I love them daily. How the hell is that excessive?
Kissing and hugging your best friend can be so soul soothing and it can be a happy exchange of emotions. As a greeting, they can create some of the most wholesome moments in the whole wide world and these moments are so platonic. I mean, Laura and Olga kiss each other in 365 DNI and it’s so nice, heartwarming and casual and they aren’t the only onscreen characters to do so. If we can happily watch how great it seems, then why are we so eager to make it seem sexualised in real life? How does that make sense?
The Public Reaction To Platonic Intimacy Needs To Change
You see, learning to be intimate in a healthy way takes time, and it’s taken me until now, at 24 years old, to actually be able to consistently replicate healthy, intimate friendships and still, I have my moments of slip-ups and I’m still learning how boundaries can be a part of that. Alas, it’s the masses that need to learn and grow with us. The masses need to stop unnecessarily sexualising affection and connection because it’s the worst and most visibly jealousy-laden thing people could possibly do.
I also love to walk around, holding hands with my best friend. But, people are so limited in their thought processes, the last time we were doing this, someone walked up to us and informed us to refrain from doing “such things” in public places. I mean, people think that the act of holding hands is a romantic gesture, something for couples to do. Meanwhile, it’s essential to realise that holding hands too, is an act that embodies trust, good feelings toward one another, and having an emotional connection and that’s way truer for best friends than lovers.
It’s essential to give space for best friends to grow closer and express their hearts. Isn’t it about time that things that block the possibility of the same, just stop occurring? We need to normalise platonic physical intimacy because it’s literally the purest form of affection and intimacy. I mean, yes, we kiss and hug our best friends and no, we are not dating or sexually involved.
Understand the fact that Platonic Intimacy is the closeness between people in personal relationships. It’s what builds over time as you connect with someone, grow to care about each other, and feel more and more comfortable during your time together. It can include physical or emotional closeness or even a mix of the two. People need to learn how the importance of physical intimacy, grow up, stop judging and butt out of our relationships with our best friends.