5 Reasons A Patient Boyfriend Is The Best
They say love is patient. That’s because you need an incredible amount of patience to have such a close partnership with another human being, who is as flawed and f*cked up as you. Of course, romance and sex makes everything even more complicated! In fact, you need patience in every relationship. You know when your parents or your grandparents have really mind-boggling expectations/advice and you have to calm every nerve in your body because well, you love them. Or when your best friend does something that is so annoying but is it worth a fight after more than a decade of being friends? You just let things go; you have to pick your battles. This is why you need a patient boyfriend.
But patience is not just about controlling your temper. It is about not judging the other person on their pace, boundaries and perception. It is about giving your partner the space and opportunity to feel completely safe with you.
When you have an impatient boyfriend, life feels like a race, you know. It just feels I am in a high-stress job that requires me to constantly be on my toes. It feels like he sets the deadlines and performance benchmarks that I must adhere to. Like hey, can I get dressed without you calling me 5 times in 15 minutes? Can you not react like I stole someone’s kidney when I just messed up a little? Can you not expect me to be perfect?
Patient boyfriends are immensely important for your mental health. Relationship shouldn’t feel like a job you want to leave, or the one that will cause you a mental breakdown. Patience is liberating and in my opinion, improves a relationship’s chances of lasting. “Without patience, you turn into your own worst taskmaster. You treat spouses and friends as disposable instead of devoting the necessary time to nurture love. But with patience, you’re able to step back and regroup instead of aggressively reacting or hastily giving up on someone who’s frustrating you. You’re able to invest meaningful time in a relationship without giving up or giving in. In fact, patience gives you the liberating breath you’ve always longed to take,” wrote Judith Orloff M.D. in Psychology Today.
Here’s more reasons for going for a patient boyfriend.
You feel safer to show your vulnerable side
If I know that he is going to be patient with my long stories, I will open up and share my innermost secrets with him. If I know he is not going to judge me, I will show my vulnerable side to him. Everyone wants relationships in which their partners are sharing everything with them. But are they the kind that would make the other person comfortable enough to do that? A patient boyfriend will!
He balances out your madness
If you have a knack of being spontaneous and a little cuckoo sometimes, a patient boyfriend can bring balance to your relationship. If both of you are impatient at the same time, it will only cause clashes that can be catastrophic to say the least.
During fights you can trust him to not shoot impulsive verbal arrows at you
After a few observations, I am mindful about the things I say in a fight or a conflict. I used to be the one to say the meanest things in a fight, after I am pushed. But now I try to not indulge in a futile argument that will only piss me off. It’s important to step back, really think what you feel about the situation and respond compassionately. Otherwise the fights can develop cracks that are difficult to heal. A patient boyfriend will do that and not hurt you with verbal knives. Or make decisions that he will regret later.
He is patient with your imperfections
Like if he knows that I am a little possessive or sometimes, a little dramatic, it will help if he accepts it with an open heart. When I am in one of those moods when I am being dramatic, it will help if he is not and is rather kind to me. Give me kisses when that happens not shade! A patient boyfriend will know you have flaws, like he does too and be better equipped to handle it. That’s love!
He respects your boundaries and doesn’t act entitled
Nobody wants an impatient guy who throws a fit when he doesn’t get what he wants, when he wants. Nobody wants this entitled manchild. At least, not woke women like me. I’d love a patient boyfriend who knows how to take a “no”. He is patient with your pace, with your boundaries and your desires. Not having complete control doesn’t drive him nuts!