Selena Gomez Says She Was Emotionally Abused By Justin Beiber. Her Take On Mental Health Is Raw And Real.
Human beings are so complex that even though researchers have been studying the human mind since ages, there’s still scope for more. In fact, it will continue to be an ongoing process. It’s mind boggling that as an uninvolved party we can see things clearly but if we are in the same situation, we just can’t. For instance, when you have someone who loves you dearly, why do you sabotage all that? Why do people take each other for granted and stop nurturing their relationship? Why do people afflict emotional pain on people they love? Excuse me for throwing several questions at you but I genuinely am dumbfounded by these. Because Selena Gomez dropped some truth bombs about her relationship with Justin Bieber and how she dealt with the emotional abuse in an interview with NPR’s Lulu Garcia-Navarro.
While all of us did assume that Justin Bieber was her muse for Lose you to love me, we didn’t expect her to actually confirm it. It seems like this is the rawest interview of Gomez. Discussing the song, Selena said, I’m very proud of it. It has a different meaning to me now from when I wrote it. I felt I didn’t get a respectful closure, and I had accepted that, but I know I needed some way to just say a few things that I wish I had said.”
On Being Emotionally Abused
She further explained that it’s not a hateful song, “It’s a song that is saying—I had something beautiful and I would never deny that it wasn’t that. It was very difficult and I’m happy it’s over. And I felt like this was a great way to just say, you know, it’s done, and I understand that, and I respect that, and now here I am stepping into a whole other chapter.”
When Garcia-Navarro asked if healing from her breakup with Bieber was one of the harder parts of her life, Gomez chose to look at the bright side of things. “No, because I’ve found the strength in it. It’s dangerous to stay in a victim mentality.”
However, she also accepted that she has been a victim to emotional abuse. But it seems like Selena Gomez is not a woman to succumb to pain and unpleasant experiences. “I had to find a way to understand it as an adult. And I had to understand the choices I was making. As much as I definitely don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about this, I am really proud that I can say I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt and I’ve found a way to just walk through it with as much grace as possible,” she said.
On Being Vocal About Her Struggles
Selena Gomez has been very vocal about her struggles and let’s just say the last couple of years hasn’t been easy for her. “It must have been difficult: two public breakups, struggles with Lupus, a kidney transplant. You’ve been public about a lot of this, too,” quizzed Garcia-Navarro.
Selena explained that she didn’t want press to tell the embellished version of the truth and felt that she should tell her story herself. “I want to be able to tell my story the way that I want to tell it. And all of these things happened, and I wasn’t going to deny that, I wasn’t going to pretend to put a smile on when it actually was awful — a few of the worst moments of my life. And I don’t know if I would have made it. And that’s medical reasons, obviously, and emotional reasons. I just had to find a way to claim my story.”
“Vulnerability is actually such a strength”
Gomez is showing her vulnerable side to the world and that just shows how brave she is. It is not easy to let your guard down (especially when you’ve been hurt). It’s not easy to tell your story to the world, knowing that while a certain section will applaud your strength, another section will ridicule you for it. Vulnerable, a song in her latest album Rare talks about just that. “That means to me that vulnerability — and I’ve said this before — is a strength. And as I grew up in this chaotic space, I did have to learn how to be tough, and to be strong, but I’m not this hard person. And I have every right to be: From 7 years old to 27, I’ve been working, and I’ve had the most horrible things said to me, said about me, and being exposed to way too much,” Gomez expressed.
She further added, “One of my issues is that I always felt like I was this weak person because I would cry, or I would get emotional, or I hated when people were rude. I just started getting to the place, definitely a few years ago, where I understood that vulnerability is actually such a strength.”
On Giving It Back
Selena Gomez’s latest album, Rare is a feel-good one that aims to motivate people to take care of their mental health. It’s so close to her heart that she even got Rare tattooed on her neck. Speaking on mental health, Gomez said, “I want to live in a world where an 11-year-old is not committing suicide because of bullying on social media. That’s what I think my real mission is; I think that I have such big dreams and ideas for ways that I can give back. And right now I know that this is something that will be for life.”
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It’s difficult to express how much I appreciate the journey she has taken towards emotional and mental health. While she went through a lot of emotional pain to be jolted into healing, a lot of us are carrying baggage with us, that we don’t even realise we have. We are unaware of the issues that chip away on our mental wellbeing, time and again. So when I did realise, I started to heal myself, slowly and steadily. It’s an ongoing process and it won’t happen overnight. But a couple of months down the line, when you look back, you’ll know that you’ve come a long way.