World Menstruation Day: 10 Things You Can Relate To If You Have Irregular Periods
Let me tell you, for me, this is not a work of hear-say. Irregular period? I am right there, sis. When our parents and grandparents were younger, they probably had well-behaved menstrual cycles. Ours is as rebellious as us. My period acts like a very annoying teen who just wants to rebel for no good cause. Or maybe it’s like Cowin, you think you can get a slot but the website’s just messing with you. Similarly, I get hopeful – when I feel a slightest cramp, get mood swings and all that. But turns out, my period is in the mood for playing games with me. The love-hate relationship is the most persistent one I have had all my adult life.
So here we are, on World Menstruation Day, paying homage to this relationship that is painful but we need it! When you go to your OB-Gyn, they always tell you – eat right, don’t stress, get some sleep. But honestly, ever since the pandemic started, stress and the subsequent sleeplessness has been deeply embedded in my daily routine. I am just a girl, having an irregular menstrual cycle and hoping for the Aunt flo (I don’t know why they call it that!) to arrive.
If you’re also in the same boat, you will be able to relate to these things.
1) The track your period apps are useless for you
Oh God, the number of women who told me to install these apps is too significant for me to peacefully ignore it. So as peer pressure has it, I have tried it at different phases in my life. My tracker gets as confused as me and I really don’t want it to lose self-confidence. When your period is irregular, the app can barely trace a pattern there.
2) You feel PMS long before you actually get your period
In the past month, there have been peak PMS moments when I was annoyed but also happy. I thought my period is around the corner. But here I am, still waiting to bleed. Sometimes, you PMS intermittently from the time you should get your period till you actually do. I mean, it’s a real struggle when you’re either moody or bleeding or both.
3) You’ve had more false alarms in the past 12 months than actual period
You’ve been mood and you’ve been getting cramps. You just had a fight with your boyfriend over something you’ve trained yourself to ignore. And then you feel it dripping, OMG, is it…finally here? Turns out, you had a false alarm. But I commend your optimism.
4) Tracking your least fertile days is almost impossible
Really, I don’t know when I will get my period, how long it will last and whether it will be heavy or moderate. Expecting me to be able to track my fertile days is a bit much. Don’t be that optimistic!
5) But if you’re not having sex, at least you don’t panic when you miss a month
I do love not worrying I may be pregnant or going to buy a pregnancy test kit and anxiously take the test. There’s no baby in the oven, and that’s one worry less.
6) You may forget your wallet but you will always have pads in your bag
When a friend or a colleague gets their period unannounced, and they don’t have a pad – who do they ask? You! That’s right, you always have a pad in your bag. You’re the official pad woman of the group. You never know when you hit the lottery and you start menstruating.
7) People give you all sort of advice
Papaya, check. Flaxseeds, check. Yoga, check. Period, uncheck. I hear you, well wishers. But my menstrual cycle is a veteran player that takes me for a ride, each time I think I have figured it out. I owe my patience and never-give-up attitude to my erratic menstrual cycle. Thank you, thank you. *Crowd cheering*
8) You stress about your period and then it further messes it up
They say stress affectsyour period negatively. Yes, thanks but how do I get rid of my stress during this hideous pandemic? You miss your period, you stress. You stress, it delays further and you worry some more. It’s a vicious cycle, well, like my menstrual cycle!
9) You never thought getting your period could make you this happy
When I got my first period, I hated it. I still hate it, with all my heart. But I need it and when it arrives, I cry tears of joy. And of pain, but there’s cure for that!
ALSO READ: Women Get Candid About Their First Period. It Emphasises The Need For Better Sex Education
10) Even your friends congratulate you when you finally get it
You text your friends excitedly that you finally got it and they feel almost as overjoyed as you. They are happy for you and also because for the next few weeks you’ll be free like a bird.
Btw, speaking about periods, check out the pad woman of India here!