What Is Vulturing? An Old Dating Trend Of Preying On Vulnerable People Re-Enters The Chat
It's nasty and how!
This era that we’re living in just isn’t for single people. From the multiple colours of flags and insane dating trends, the complex world of woke, and digital dating paired with offline dating can make our heads spin. Speaking of dating trends, while many people will share a term and call it a new dating trend but truth be told, most of the time, these are just dating trends that have come back from the grave or just a toxic dating behaviour that finally has a name. One such dating trend is vulturing.
What Is Vulturing?
According to Urban Dictionary, vulturing is a dating trend wherein a person makes a move on their friend’s ex or someone close to them with whom they share a platonic relationship. This term is mainly used when someone makes a move on their friend’s ex after their relationship fails. This person pretends to be their friend while making a play to take advantage of their moment of vulnerability and insecurity caused by a failed romance. In most cases, a vulture simply waits for his or her friend to woo a person and then for the relationship to fail before making a move so, they can take advantage of the situation without having to put much effort or meet new people and woo them.
Allow me to remind you of a simple example. It’s very surface level but remember Siddhi’s mom in Four More Shots Please! S4? Remember when she was approached by her dead husband’s friend who first pretended to empathise with her and minutes later hit on her and asked her for coffee? Well, it’s pretty much the same thing except vultures play the longer game and have more game than the man in this case.
Also Read: Redditors Unanimously Agree That Attraction Is More Important Than Compatibility In Dating. Harsh Truths!
How Is Vulturing Toxic?
To begin with, this dating trend is essentially the age-old strategy employed by most people to offer someone a shoulder to cry on during their vulnerable time and then weasel their way into the person’s heart, life and/or pants. Now, this doesn’t mean that you cannot date someone who once offered their shoulder to cry on or stood by you like a rock while you dealt with a personal or emotional tragedy.
When people are vulnerable and dealing with emotional turmoil, they’re bound to make mistakes in the heat of the moment and in their emotional high but if this person who has offered your their shoulder, stops you from making mistakes, chances are that they genuinely care but if they take advantage of you in the moment, they’re preying on you. The one thing that makes this dating trend the worst of it all is the fact that it operates on gaining someone’s trust and then betraying them by taking advantage of the faith they have in you.
Also Read: Reddit Thread About Expectations In A Relationship Will Open Your Eyes To Your Toxic Patterns
How To Spot A Vulture?
It’s very simple really. Vultures are always there in your low moments and use your emotional exhaustion to egg you on. They swoop in to “save” you but they also love-bomb you by giving you a lot of attention. They never let you go but they never commit fully either. It may seem like they’re putting in effort but it also seems like you’re stuck in a rut with them and going around in circles. It’s a toxic cycle of them reaching out whenever you have someone new in your life and putting an end to the budding relationship but remember that this person operates on your trust and their ability to manipulate.
The best way to get out of this toxic cycle is to stop trusting them and depending on them. Do not let them get in your head, your space or your romance.
Featured Image: Pexels
First Published: June 13, 2023 6:40 PMWhat Is Micro Cheating? 5 Signs Your Partner Might Be Betraying Your Trust
