Online Dating is Quite A Task For Ambiverts. Here’s Why I Find It Hard To Remain Interested

FI Online Dating Isn't Easy For Ambiverts

For the longest time, I kept saying that I am introverted because I am more inclined towards not socialising. However, if I must – and sometimes, I also enjoy it – I am fully capable of being the life of a party. There are parties where I have stuck to people I know and away from the center of the room. There also have been parties where I have let my hair down, had a blast, made new friends and all that.  Now it really depends on my mood, the energy of the place, and the kind of people there are. This often means that people who saw the social side of me tend to wonder what happened when I am in my introvert mood. And people who saw my resting bitch face assume I am anti-social.

So I figure, I am an ambivert and life isn’t easy for one. As an extrovert or an introvert, you know how you are and so do your friends. Ambiverts are unpredictable cause we don’t know which side we will incline more towards on a particular day. Unfortunately, in the online dating world, the inconsistency makes you look like an asshole. I think to date I have only been in relationships that started with friendship. However, since love too has become digital and I tried dating apps, only to be thoroughly bored by them. Here’s why it’s difficult to be on a dating app as an ambivert.

How do people chat so much?

Sometimes I don’t understand, these guys I match with – do they know how things work? Like you have a list of matches and if I sit and chat with all of them all day, who will do my work? Honestly, even if I have absolutely nothing to do, I cannot invest so much energy in chatting with people. So how are these people on dating apps always up for a chat? Do they have like assistants to do menial tasks like have a life?

Woah, speak on a call? That’s way too fast

I had matched with this guy who was really pleasant to chat with. So out of the several matches I had, I decided to dedicate some time to this one. He was a writer for these films and series on Prime and Netflix and had a fairly good sense of humour. But boy, did he want to rush into things! You do not ask an ambivert to call you unless you want to freak her out. I was like hey, that’s too much too soon. Let’s take it slow and chat first so I don’t become like silent over a call. But he insisted and I was like nope, our pace doesn’t match.

Anyone who pushes too much gets unmatched

Dear extroverts, do you know of our existence? We are the people of slowville and we live in a house of shell that we withdraw into when someone pushes us too much. The number of guys I just ghosted because they were too “demanding” is huge. Like I know I am on a dating app but hello respect my boundaries. I am not obliged to be that social. Calm your titties, bro.

No, I am not playing hard to get

The thing is when you’re in your social mood, you end up talking a lot. You even crack a few jokes, put on your most charming side forward and they are like all impressed. The next day you feel like resting it out but your match thinks you’re playing hard to get. Most people see it as black and white – you are either an extrovert or an introvert. But nope, it depends on our mood too. Unless you actually come closer. We are always extroverts with our loved ones.

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But it’s genuinely difficult to keep me interested

Since I don’t feel interested often in investing my energy in people not close to me, I find it difficult to keep the conversation going. As an ambivert, I feel I am more interested in talking to my loved ones and being a social butterfly just once in a while. So, how does that work when you’re on a dating app and someone you first spoke to only yesterday is telling you about his roommate? It doesn’t. It’s almost like I go on dating apps to find acquaintances who will never get into my pants!

ALSO READ: I Tried Dating Apps And Realised They Are Full Of Commitment Phobic And Emotionally Damaged Men

Akanksha Narang

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