It’s normal to want the best for a loved one and to lend a hand when they need it. But when it gets out of control, wanting to take care of your loved one can end up affecting them and you in unhealthy ways. After a while this love and care for your partner can turn into an obsession where you start feeling like your relationship is all you need to look into, making it a codependent relationship. Codependency, aka relationship addiction, kicks in when someone thinks their main gig is to be the superhero and save their partner. It’s not uncommon for us to make our relationship our world but if that’s all your world is about, it’s time to fix things up. Here are a few signs that tell you that your lovey-dovey relationship is turning into a codependent one.
Space kaha hai?
Being in a relationship where you and your boo do many things together is a sign of a healthy relationship, but if you start feeling that there is no satisfaction or purpose in your life outside your relationship, it’s a sign. It often happens so that you start feeling like your sense of identity is connected to your partner’s. Subconsciously you start believing that you will only be satisfied if you do things with your partner and the things that your partner wants. This makes it hard to maintain a loving relationship and being your own person at the same time.
Vakeel Ho Kya?
Another sign of a codependent relationship is that you have started slipping your partner’s mistakes under the rug after they insult or belittle you. The tendency to cover up for your partner’s harmful and abusive behaviour can make things much worse than they already are. When you see your friends point out your partner’s abusive behaviour, you try to defend your partner and blame yourself instead.
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Parde Mein Rehne Do
Loving and admiring your partner’s good traits is one thing, but if these qualities are making all those red flags look pink. Baby, we gotta step back a little. In a codependent relationship, people often idealize their partner to an extent where they fail to acknowledge the flaws of their partner. Putting this constant parda over your partner’s flaws and letting those red flags get redder will just mess up your mental and emotional health in the long run.
Bob The Builder Syndrome
Often in these relationships, you take it as your sole responsibility to “attend” to the partner’s need and wants. Sometimes it’s easy to even forget the difference between their wants and their needs. You see it as a job to “fix” your partner’s problems, even when it’s absolutely unnecessary. And what comes when you can’t attend to these needs? The guilt. You feel guilty about focusing on yourself and prioritizing anything outside of your relationship.
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Kalesh Isn’t So Bad Sometimes
Trying to avoid disagreements and arguments in a relationship is a sign of a healthy relationship. But given that two people with different past experiences and ideas are planning to be together, disagreements are bound to happen. In codependent relationships, people often keep themselves from doing any kalesh altogether, thinking that even small disagreements would lead to bigger conflicts. This constant fear of conflict makes you not want to open up about your needs and desires with your partner.
It’s hard to realize that you are in a codependent relationship at times but working on your relationship when you start seeing these subtle signs can make it so much better. Given that if you are too deep in the mud, going back and fixing things isn’t the best advice to take. Sometimes the only thing you can do is pack your bags and leave. Taking time for yourself after relationships is the best way to grow and glow, ladies!