Why Do Shows Like Friends, How I Met Your Mother, And More Promote Unrealistic Friendship Standards?

Real life friendships are very different from the ones shown in sitcoms like Friends and How I Met Your Mother!

A few days ago, I met a close friend after almost 3 years. It was like no time had passed between us. So when we parted ways, it felt like waking up to reality. We promised to meet each other often after this, knowing that we were both lying and there was a high chance we might not meet for another 2 years. But we did it because I love her as much as I love my friends who might be closer to me in the demographic.

While returning to the train, I wondered if this was the real form of adult relationships. Aren’t we all supposed to live across the street, go to parties together, discuss our sex lives, and fall back and forth in love with each other? But the truth is, I have never done this with anyone or seen someone around me do it with their friends. I don’t have a tight friend circle hanging out with me on a Wednesday afternoon.

The Myth of the “Always Available” Friend Group

We all know that Chandler and Joey were always doing one or the other adventure on Friends. But guess what? My friends have lives, families, and ambitions too! Adult friendships require fixing a mutual time, respecting boundaries, and sometimes, going through their dreaded texts.

Growing up, watching shows like that, I imagined my adult life to be the same. But instead, I got the same heartbreak that Sid from Wake Up Sid got after leaving college. Going back home I realised my expectations of friendships were ruined by movies and TV shows. But seriously, if I had a friend like Ted Mosby yapping about his love life while being idealistic, I would break the rules of friendships too.

Also Read: From Female Friendships To Career, Women On Reddit Lists 5 Things They Prefer Over Relationships!

The Myth of the Constant Outings (Even On Weekdays)

How I Met Your Mother and Friends always showcased the friends spending their nights in bars drinking and meeting other people. While socializing is important, adulting often involves budgeting for those nights out, prioritizing sleep (because hangovers are way worse now), and navigating the ever-complicated world of adult friendships (spoiler alert: they require effort!).

While we accept that Disney films and romantic comedies skew our perceptions of romance, what about media influencing our non-romantic relationships?

Many articles have been written about how Disney films and other rom-coms skew our perceptions of romance, but how often do we consider how TV and movies have impacted our non-romantic relationships? Friends set me up for failure, sold me an ideal, and led me to question every significant relationship I’ve ever had in favour of something absurdly uncommon if it even exists at all.

I was and always will be a Phoebe, and for all the years I wished for Rachel and Monica to balance out my Phoebe, I was losing out on something much more solid. Adult friendships can be fun in their ways without us blowing off our work or jumping out of buildings for each other. Because at the end of the day, that one friend will always be there with a drink in their hands to talk it all out!

Also Read: 8 Things We Don’t Like About How Female Friendships Are Portrayed In Film. Do Better!

First Published: June 11, 2024 2:04 PM