In the grand tradition of keeping women focused on anything but their ambitions, society has gifted us with a delightful array of beauty standards. These gems ensure that women remain blissfully preoccupied with unattainable ideals rather than, you know, achieving anything significant. From perpetually flawless skin to maintaining a size zero figure for eternity, these standards are a masterstroke in patriarchal strategy. Here are 6 beauty standards our society needs so women never think too highly of themselves, we must keep them grounded.
1. Flawless Skin Only
Because clearly, everyone’s skin is naturally Photoshopped. Any sign of a pimple? Shame, shame! Ladies, having flawless skin is sometimes (always) important for you because then how will you make an intelligent, nice boy fall for you? With your talent and that law degree? You wish!
2. Size Zero Forever
Who needs internal organs anyway? Aim for that elusive, skeletal charm that screams “I haven’t eaten since 2002.” Get up from your beds and go run on that treadmill like you are running for your life. Learn something from mother Kim K na?
3. Always Look Youthful
Forget wisdom and life experience—if you’re over 25, fade into irrelevance already. Wrinkles are a sign of weakness! Ageing is for men, we women just have to look like their daughters.
4. Perfectly Groomed At All Times
God forbid you have a single hair out of place. Sleep? Who needs it when you can spend hours on hair and makeup? Working too much is not good for you. Go sit on that makeup chair so you look more “approachable” to your male colleagues.
5. Proportional Features
Symmetry is the key, ladies. Didn’t you know your face is supposed to look like it was designed with a ruler? Get all your focus on this instead of learning actual symmetry from your math books.
6. Hair-Free Bodies
Natural body hair? How primitive! Spend hours waxing, shaving, and lasering yourself into a preteen state. Otherwise, you will gross out that 40-year-old uncle with a nose full of hair. Be mindful of other’s needs and wants. Isn’t that what we are taught? We need to always be clean and good-looking for the men.
By upholding these impossible and absurd standards, we ensure that women stay preoccupied with their looks, leaving the real thinking and achieving to, well, anyone else. Why let women focus on their ambitions and intellect when they can be endlessly chasing superficial perfection?
