Instead Of Those Whatsapp Forwards, Here Are 10 Things We Really Want This International Women’s Day
Girls, it is that time of the year again where are our WhatsApp is going to be buzzing nonstop. Why? Well, it is International Women’s Day this weekend and all the men in the world think their job is done after sending the women in their lives a “Happy Woman’s Day!” text. Is it? Does one text make our lives better or at least livable? Erm no.
In India, on one hand people pray to goddesses and on the other hand, they are slapping their wives around. One text is not going to fix that or any of the other BS we go through just because we were born with a vagina and not a penis.
So, keeping the spirit of International Women’s Day in mind, I have curated seven things that we actually want and need. Changes that need to be done so we are more inclusive of women while yet giving us our own freedom and space. Check it out and don’t forget to send this to the men in your lives when they send you that text on Sunday because they too need to know all of this.
Also Read: The Oxford Dictionary’s Definitions Of “Woman” Include ‘Bitch’ And ‘Maid’. An Open Letter Is Seeking To Change This And We Want To See It Happen
- We don’t want to be scared. On the road, behind closed doors, in a temple, at a concert, at a club, in a mall- we just don’t want to be scared. What we do want is to be safe from pervy glances, lecherous comments, people grabbing our boobs and squeezing our butts, molestation, people flashing us, catcalling us, calling us derogatory terms and of course we want to be able to walk on the roads at night with the fear of ending up as the next rape victim. Hear this and hear it clearly, none of us want to be India’s next daughter.
- We want equal pay, respect and representation in a workplace. It isn’t fair that we work as much as men, actually maybe a little more, and we get paid less than half of what they do. Nor is it fair that in the corperate world the ratio of men to women is 5:1. And while we are at it, we would appreciate not being sexually harassed or pressurized by our male colleagues at work. Just because we work for you doesn’t mean you own us, understand that.
- We want to wear what we want, when we want it without your judgement. Thank you for telling me my bra strap is showing, but I know it’s out because I want it that way. And believe it or not, I don’t care if you think it is inappropriate, all I want is for you to stop getting so fucking petrified of it. Having said that, we want the freedom to sit the way we want, eat what we want without you telling us that we will put on weight, have as many tattoos and piercings as we want, and wear a mini skirt without you associating its length with our character. So please, enough with this judgement. We don’t that kind of negativity in our lives.
Also Read: Women Are Mere Tokens In The Boardroom. Indian Companies Are Exploiting The Law That Requires Every Listed Company Have At Least One Female Board Member.
- We want equal and serious representation in politics. PM Modi’s cabinet has 58 ministers, do you know how many of them are women? Six. What kind of messed up equation is that? How are we supposed to better the socio-economic state of our women (which is in the dumps, BTW) if women themselves have no representation in the government running our country? For years men have been making laws pertaining to women and we’ve seen where that has landed us. Can we now please have women representing women? I don’t think this is too much to ask for and honestly, we shouldn’t have to ask for it.
- I know all you’ll have grown up watching shows and movies where the woman looks and behaves a certain way. But we would like to take this opportunity to break it to you, since you’ll don’t seem to get it. Real women do not look, dress or behave like that. So please do us all a favour and stop holding us to ridiculously impossible beauty standards. We can’t all be tall, skinny, fair-skinned, blemish-free with straight long hair because what I described here is the description of a mannequin, not a human.
- We want victim shaming to cease to exist as a concept. I mean, what is that shit? Someone raped her or beat her up and instead of helping her or just making her life easier in any way you can, you are telling her it was probably her fault that this happened. It is ridiculous and frankly, it talks more about your character than hers. So, the next time a woman tells you she is a victim of domestic abuse or any kind of abuse be sensitive, empathetic and help her out.
- And finally, we want to not be pressurized to get married as soon as we hit 25. So, listen up all aunties we don’t care if your brother’s son is eligible, if we don’t want to get married (now or ever), it is completely our choice. When and if we do decide to get married, we will talk to our families about it. And then if we choose to have an arranged marriage, they can look. If we don’t want an arranged marriage, we want the freedom to choose who we are going to spend the rest of my life with. You, my friend need to keep your opinions and suggestions to yourself.
Also, while we are on the topic, we just want to put it out there that having children is a choice between the two partners. It is not a compulsion! So do not ask us a thousand times when we are going to give you the “good news”. It is a very personal matter and the two of us are enough to come to a decision, we don’t need a hundred people all up in our business.
8. We want that our word be taken seriously. That if we say something, if it’s strongly worded, it’s not a rant. If I shout at someone during work hours because of work, I am not a ‘bitch who hasn’t got some in a while.’ Learn to deal with women in leadership roles with respect. You could learn a thing or two. And don’t assume we got the promotion because we slept with the boss. Maybe see us as whole humans and not just as a pair of tits.
9. Stop shaming us for our sex lives. We are not frigid cows or sluts. What we do in bed and who we do it with is entirely our prerogative. On social media, calling us whores because we choose to show cleavage or threatening to rape us or sending us your dick pics is entirely cool. Learn and listen to the concept of consent and understand it. It’s not so difficult.
10. Finally, we want you to stop teaching your women how to behave and start teaching men not to rape.