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10 Hilarious Things You’ll Relate To If Your Parents Don’t Know You Drink

July 16, 2019 | by Akanksha Narang

Most of us are closet drinkers, and our parents, relatives and nosy neighbours have no clue we gulp down alcohol like it’s our primary profession. You know, it would be great if we could drink as a family, and chill together. However, one of my uncles gets rowdy, one aunty keeps jiggling and now I am not sure this is a good idea.

So, if your parents think you’ve never touched daaru, and you’d like it to remain that way, here are 10 things you’ll be able to relate to.

  1. You are always armed – perfume, mint, etc!

Because your mom’s sense of smell is so strong, only the strongest perfumes can camouflage the smell of whiskey on you. Unless you throw up. Because that will give you away.

  1. Your stash spot is more confidential than Coca Cola’s recipe

While Coca Cola keeps their recipe a top secret, you have hidden your stash of bottles in a dark corner where no one can find them. At least, that’s the hope.

  1. And when your mom finds a bottle, you blame it on your friend

Yet, moms are always a step ahead of you. Or maybe the last time you had your friends over, they left clues behind (drunk people do stupid things!) But here’s the rule – if your mom finds the bottle, it is your friends! Never feel pressurised into being honest about these things.

  1. When you’re drunk and your mom calls, you shit your pants

And you either end up losing your high, or fumble like you have paan in your mouth. Either ways, it doesn’t end well.

  1. You wish you had an invisibility cloak when you get home

You open the door as silently as possible, and pray to God that your parents have already slept. Without looking anywhere, you rush to your room because honestly, you can’t act to save your life!

  1. You have to hide your drunk pics on social media

Or block your parents and all rishtedaars. In fact, before you click pictures, you have to move the glasses aside because you can’t have photographic evidence against you.


  1. And if you get drunk you have to sleep at your friend’s

The night just kept getting wilder and you forgot about this place called home. You can’t go home puking your intestines out, eyes red and screaming out love yous at every human, or dog. So you sleep it off a friends who either has cooler parents or an empty house.

  1. You can never let your parents find out that you’re hungover

You have to pretend that you’re either sleep deprived or sick. And they wonder how you always fall sick on Sundays. Well, some days are just unlucky.

  1. When your parents go out of town, it’s time to partayyy

Your friends have been waiting for this day. You drink like there’s no tomorrow and when your parents are about to return, you clean and you clean like a pro.

ALSO READ: 10 Funny Things Every Drunk Girl Has Said To Her BFFs

  1. You often wonder if they already know

Now, it’s not like you’re a good actor or anything. So either your parents are too trusting or they already know.

Akanksha Narang

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