How To Not Be Ticklish During Sex
I am a very ticklish person and as much as that is fun to my friends, it can really make me go crazy during sex. It’s like you’re so aroused, dripping wet and your body has turned into an erogenous zone. But when he touches you, just anywhere, you feel like someone is tickling you wildly! You laugh, wiggle and giggle and ask him to stop, even though you don’t mean it. He doesn’t know where to touch you because you’re ticklish, especially on all your erogenous zones. Oh boy, I wish it tickled less!
But here’s the thing, initially whenever a new spot was touched, I used to get jumpy. But when he returned to the same spot later, I felt more relaxed. I remember telling him, let me get used to your touch. And he’d be surprised how I stopped feeling ticklish over a period of time. That’s probably because my body accepted his touch. Here’s how you can stop being ticklish during sex.
Relax yourself to stop feeling ticklish during sex
Confused? Have you ever tickled yourself? Sounds crazy, right? Because you cannot tickle yourself. Your brain can predict the sensation your own touch will bring and hence it doesn’t get all freaked out. But when another human touches you on an area you subconsciously want to keep “safe”, your body understands it as a tickle. Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist wrote in her sex advice column in Bustle, “There’s not a universally agreed upon theory for why tickling exists, but some scientists think that these particular areas provide a hint about the reason for tickling. These are all very vulnerable zones, so perhaps we developed ticklishness as an evolutionary protection mechanism to help keep those areas safe.” Take your time to get used to his touch. Ask him to start with places you’re more comfortable with and then explore.
You could be ticklish during sex due to self-consciousness
It can also mean that you are feeling conscious about an area. “Sometimes, people are ticklish on parts of their body that they feel sensitive or self-conscious about. You might have felt really ticklish if you had a partner who was kissing and licking your inner thighs because you were feeling self-conscious or nervous about him being so up-close-and-personal between your legs. Sometimes we even use ticklishness as an excuse,” she explained, in a response to a woman dealing with ticklishness during sex.
In general life, the areas we are conscious of aren’t exposed to the world. Or at least, we don’t have people touching us, like that. In an intimate situation, we bare it all and are rather left feeling vulnerable. “For example, you might tell your partner that you’re ticklish on your hips if you’re self-conscious about then touching your love handles. It’s a good way to get him to avoid the area, and prevent yourself from having to feel that anxiety,” Marin explained.
Let go of your insecurities, he is there to make love to you and not attack your thigh cellulite with judgement.
Guide his hand
Marin explains, “Here’s the trick: place your hand over the other person’s hand as they touch you in your ticklish areas (of course, in your case, it would be your boyfriend putting his hand over yours as you touch him). This helps give your Cerebellum more information, so it can better predict what you’ll feel and help you not be ticklish! I tried this myself, and it worked wonders. Who knew it was that easy?” You will feel more in control of your body’s sensations and thus, be able to relax and not see his touch as “foreign”. Once your body eases into it, you can take your hand out for the rest of the night.
Ask him to avoid feather touch so you don’t feel ticklish during sex
Our skin has a defence mechanism to avoid bugs and creepy crawlies from making our bodies their jogger’s park. Whenever we feel feather touch, our reflexes get jumpy. Of course, it’s stronger in some of us. This is why, when he moves the tips of his fingers on your waist or inner thighs, you go nuts! Ask him to apply medium pressure, so your brain doesn’t activate your jumpy reflexes and make you ticklish!
Don’t lose touch
There’s no point if you finally get used to his touch one night and then he touches you on the same spot light years later, assuming it will still not be ticklish. It’s important to not lose connection to his touch because it will be like starting all over again. You gotta do it more often so your body recognises his touch and gets familiar with it. Combine that with the right kind of pressure and a little body positivity and you’re good to go…or come! *winks*