Embracing Heteroflexibility In All Its Glory, How Is It Different From Bisexuality?

Heteroflexibility is another new term on the wide spectrum of our sexuality.  It is situational sexual behaviour. It describes sexual behaviour which is usually heterosexual or straight but includes a few instances of sex with same-gender people. It is more commonly defined as a “mostly straight” behaviour. Heteroflexible people have same-sex desires but, they also identify themselves primarily as heterosexual. 

However, like many other sexual orientations, it is different for different people who identify with this term. For example, a heteroflexible man might be usually sexually attracted to women or non-binary people, but can occasionally be sexually curious or interested in other men. 

The origin of this term isn’t clear, but it seems like the term only started appearing on the internet in the early 2000s. That’s not to say that the experience of being “mostly straight” is something new. There’s a long history of straight people experimenting with and experiencing a degree of attraction to people of the same gender as them.  But, every person and their experiences are different, at the end of the day.

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How To Identify If You Are Heteroflexible?

There is no definite way to determine if you are heteroflexible or not. Every heteroflexible person is different and their experiences may look different.  Some people actually engage in sexual activity with people of the same gender, some don’t act upon their attraction towards the same sex but are happy fantasising, and some are open to experimenting with same-sex people. Therefore there is no one definition for heteroflexibility.

However, asking ourselves the following questions might help us identify ourselves. But first, let’s forget all about society and the stigma that they impose on us. These questions should just be, to yourself. Let yourself be honest and vulnerable at this moment. Are you ready? 

– Who am I most attracted to?

– Have I ever been attracted to a person of the same gender?

– Did I ever act or wanted to act on these feelings?

– Would I experiment with someone of my gender?

– In a world of no judgement, would I date or sleep with someone of the same gender?

These questions might not provide you with the answer you are looking for but will get you thinking about your orientation and this self-introspection might get you to the answers that you have been looking for. A lot of people are also not able to answer in a more clear manner because they are confused about how being heteroflexible is different from being bisexual.

Also Read: Demisexuals Can’t Feel Sexual Attraction Without Feeling A Connection. 5 Signs You Could Be One!

Bisexuality v/s Heteroflexiblity

This is one of the biggest confusions when it comes to Heteroflexibility because heteroflexible people, like bisexual people, are attracted to more than one gender. You see, bisexuality is a wide range of sexual choices which can include Heteroflexiblity. Bisexuality is usually in the middle of the sexuality spectrum between heterosexual (exclusively attracted to different genders) and homosexual (exclusively attracted to the same gender). On the other hand, Heteroflexibility lies more towards the heterosexual side of the spectrum. 

However, at the end of the day, both heteroflexible and bisexual are labels, they are chosen by the people themselves. They have the authority to decide how they identify themselves. With the growing awareness and acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community, people are quick to label you either of them which is again, a pretty wrong practice in itself. 

Also, Heteroflexible isn’t a commonly known term and hence people are also quick to dismiss it to mean bisexual, or homosexual. Or sometimes heteroflexible people themselves stick to being heterosexual by suppressing their desires for other genders.

We already know attraction isn’t something we have control over, if that were the case, so many star-crossed lovers might not have died, chasing their lovers. Attraction is natural and beautiful, be it for anyone of any gender.

In the end, what matters is love. Love and acceptance of own our identity. Love and support heteroflexible people, the need of the hour is to accept, embrace their existence, and welcome them with open arms. 

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