Women Get Candid About Having Casual Sex And If It’s Worth It
While I believe sex can be a great hydrating experience that quenches your thirst for intimacy, I don’t see it happening in casual encounters. The thing is if I don’t give two hoots about you, chances are, my vagina won’t also. The intercourse may bring good sensations but will be soul be nourished? Nope. I don’t judge people who have casual sex; in fact, I believe they have mastered things I haven’t – like being detached while having sex or not being affected by a guy’s typical post-coitus hibernation.
They say no sex is better than bad sex because the latter just kills your libido. It’s true, isn’t it? I see kissing as a sign of affection and when I have none to offer him, why am I planting kisses on him? Maybe I’d be more open to it if men actually knew how to have casual sex without being disrespectful.
Not caring about the woman’s orgasms, acting completely disinterested post sex and all that makes you feel objectified, used and what not. It may not be true, maybe they are freaking out. But do I want to go through the anxiety? Nope.
Casual sex can be good, or bitter. Usually, it depends on who you do it with and how you felt about it. So when a Reddit user asked what women think about casual sex, they answered, quite openly.
Casual sex and orgasms
“I’m not against casual sex but given how bad most straight men are at sex… no thanks,” a woman wrote. “If I am to date again I would have sex earlier on to test for compatibility but I’ve found 90% of men are bad in bed so I’ve become less and less interested in men or sex in general,” another added.
“The quality of the sex is much better when you’re with someone who knows what they’re doing, and who cares about making the sex enjoyable for you,” another user wrote. Some men are good at pleasuring women but I’d say a lot don’t care about your orgasms in casual encounters. In fact, even if they do, it probably takes a while for a guy to get to know your erogenous zones and what gets you going.
Can casual sex provide intimacy?
I’m glad I tried it, I guess, since I was curious. But honestly the sex is hardly ever good (I’m more into sex with an emotional connection), and the risk (both std and the chance of them being, you know, scary and up to no good) was just too high. I usually did it when I was craving intimacy (which a vibrator can’t give you), but surprise surprise, a casual contact usually doesn’t provide intimacy either.
Do women feel objectified?
“It’s never been worth it. 99% (of cis men, in my experience, at least) don’t even attempt to make you cum and just use you as a human fleshlight. Invest that gas money and time into a good vibrator. Seriously,” a woman wrote. Another woman added, “I like the idea of it but I get turned off by desperate guys or ones that can’t even treat you with some respect. So yeah haven’t been intimate in almost a year cause of that.” That! Most men don’t know how to have casual sex without not objectifying women.
Some women find masturbation better
“This right here. There is a 110% chance I’ll enjoy myself a LOT better, by myself. Success in fact, is guaranteed. Just like no hassle, no STDs and my safety is guaranteed too. If I need a dick, there is again a 110% chance a vibrator will hit the right spot in a way that a ONS never will. Absolutely no interest in serving as someone’s flashlight for a night. Such a bad vibe. Like??? Why would I,” a woman wrote. I agree! So much trouble for orgasms that might not even happen? I’d save all that and give myself some instead.
It can be risky
“The risks are too high and the sex is too often lackluster. Not worth it,” a woman wrote. “Not for me. I had a couple of ONS in college but I caught feelings real quick so decided I can’t risk it. I sometimes envy my friends who can, specially during dry spells.Had an FWB though and that was great as neither of us were able to take it further. Now I’m in an LTR and the sex is so connected and intimate and on a whole different level,” a user wrote. STDs or feelings – both are quite risky to catch!
It can be therapeutic too
“When I got out of a Long term relationship, i was mentally damaged a lot, i wasn’t ready for a looong time to give in to a new relationship. Casual sex helped me to regain my confidence and heal my wounds under my conditions, while still feeling intimacy to another human being. Plus you get a shit load of life experience and experience with people. So a hard YES from me, as Long as you do it for yourself. And when you are ready to move on to something more serious you will have a better understanding of what you want in your life and relationships,” a user wrote. Oh, well. If done right, with the right guy, it can make you more confident and even heal you.
But you also grow sexually
“If/when it works well for people then go for it, there is no reason not to! 🙂 I am very happy about the experience it gave me, I learned a lot of what I needed both sexually and in a relationship. I am dating again now and I have gotten very good at picking up the red flags immediately and, more importantly, not giving people many chances to prove me wrong(which they never do..) and letting them use up all of my patience again,” a user wrote. You learn so much about your own self – your desires, what gets you going and what your dealbreakers are.
It can definitely help your dry spell when you’re single
“In college I did FWB often. That was really nice, I didn’t really have the energy for full on dating. I was able to develop trust and our sexual connection could usually evolve into a really good time. I’m still friends with or in touch with a number of those guys and genuinely care about them as humans. Especially with moving around for internships and stuff the whole thing was just less stress and intensity than being in a full blown relationship,” a user explained.
“It can be fun, it’s all just a matter of how you approach and expectations. I’ve had a few hookups that weren’t great, I’ve had others that were amazing connections,” another added.
If you can do it without expectations, casual sex is a quick fix for your dry spell. This is why I envy those who can pull it off!
You can have casual sex which feels positive
“Through some strange rabbit-hole casual sex experiences I kind of learned that it’s totally OK to have sex with someone you like and just let that be the role and memory they had in your life. So now I feel like casual sex kind of opened up a door with me where I can get with people I feel attracted to, without this pressure of “This should be the person I want to marry”. And I find that a great thing to be honest. I also had casual sex with my last two exes before actually getting into a relationship with them. I find it helpful in dating. I much prefer to either keep it at casual sex or get into a relationship that’s marriage material, than having to be in a relationship that you know will only last a year or something from the get go,” a user wrote.
It’s not like you won’t have any connection with the person you’re having casual sex with. It’s just that you know there’s nothing more to that connection and you’re just grateful for whatever positivity it brings, for however long it lasts.
ALSO READ: Casual Sex Or Friends With Benefits Relationships Mostly End In Disappointment. Here’s Proof
But there are men who treat casual sex like commercial sex, except you’re not paid
“One in particular really frustrated me, because we had been flirting for months and finally hooked up after a party and he was super hot and charming and I was thinking awesome, this is my dream fuck buddy for the next few months until I graduate. Turned out though that he was thinking just about growing his “hit list” (I just vomited a little). He was one and done and ghosted me after. I confronted him in the cafeteria one day, asked him why he never texted me back and why he was avoiding me. He said he didn’t want a relationship, just wanted to have fun. I was like, yeah duh I could tell that and that’s what I wanted too. He was flabbergasted and tried to meet up with me again after that, but by that point I was so turned off because of his attitude and immaturity and there was no recovering,” a woman shared. Oh men like these make it difficult for women all over to have casual sex without feel like shit.