Things You Can Relate To If Your Mother Is The Queen Of Sarcasm
I don’t know about others but I tend to behave differently with different sets of people. It’s not like I am pretending anywhere, we are all multi-faceted peeps, right? My bestie and I can never do baby talk, my office bestie and I on the other hand are like super mushy. I am introvert somewhere, an extrovert elsewhere. But if you ask me what the most deeply inherent side of my personality is, I’ll tell you it’s where I act like a 50-year-old sarcastic mommy who will only give savage replies and death stares. Where do I get this from? My mom, of course. Lately, I have realised I am eerily similar to my mother. Okay, not eerie because that’s where I came from.
My desi mother is the divine symbol of sakshaat sarcasm and savagery that often leaves me baffled. And it’s not limited to me. My mother has made fun of my best friend, on several occasions and thankfully, all of them take it in good spirit. Thank God for my mom’s incredibly nurturing and warm side that makes up what her evil twin does to people.
It’s just so typical of desi moms, right? When I go to my close friends’ place, their moms too, are delivering Chandler-level sarcastic comments. And I am just like, where do you go to learn this skill? What were they teaching in the 60s in schools?
Honestly, it’s adorable AF when moms throw their trenchant humour at us, while also deeply caring for us. It’s cute and entertaining, and those caustic scolds seem so much better with it. Do you have a savage AF mother too? Here are things you’ll be able to relate to.
She will never give a straight answer
You go into the kitchen and ask her what’s for dinner and she replies saying, “Ma’am would you like to pay by cheque or card?” implying you never help. When you tell her you’re having another sleepover at your bestie’s, she’ll go like, “Uske ration card mein naam bhi add karwa lo”. If you ask her if she is bored, she will tell you how you assholes are boring her. There’s no way you’re getting a sugar-coated response so learn to start loving the bitter gourd already.
Mother is so good at roasting and she knows it
During a particular week, one of my best friends had been coming over every day. First day, my mom welcomed her, asked her if she wants something to eat. The second day, she did the same. The third day, she asked her if her parents are out of town. They weren’t. From that day onward, she’d just open the door, laugh right at my friend without even attempting to camouflage her amusement and then go on to just treat her like a forever-existing wall in the house. She knows she can be savage even without using words. And when she does use them, it’s a madhouse and we love her for it.
She is brutally honest, sometimes at the cost of your self-esteem
Has it ever happened to you that you got dressed to go out and just when you were going to leave, the plan got cancelled? Yeah, it happened to me and honestly, I was more concerned about the number of jokes my mom is going to crack at my social life. And oh boy, she did. At this point, my mom makes fun of my dating choices. A friend of mine just for fun told her mom she is going out with her boyfriend and her mom laughed, refusing to believe she has one. Ouch.
Messing with her would mean a well-planned or spontaneous rebuttal
You can’t mess with your mother, no matter how smart or funny you are. She is your mother after all and she will teach you a lesson, in the most creative ways. My mom got mad at me for not finishing my dahi every day and said now she won’t give me. I took that as a joke. Next day, I got dahi vada for lunch, without the dahi. I was dumbfounded and she had a good laugh when I reached home. Yep, never taking her lightly again.
Her taunts are the best in the world
I speak fluent taunt and I learnt it from my mom. Desi moms have like a library full of taunts for every occasion. Are you sleeping too much? Being lazy? Always going out or staying home too much? She has a taunt for any scenario and so potent that it can penetrate through your skin, and crumble your soul. You will instantly realise you’re being lame as her way of calling you out is top of the world. But she does it out of love and it’s hilarious, so you have learnt to live with it.