Sexism Starts At Home. Parineeti Chopra Talks About Things We’ve All Experienced. Now, She’s Calling It Out
My family has its own versions of casual sexism and internalised misogyny, like most Indian families do. However, I still feel, they’ve been more or less liberal, comparatively speaking. Say, for instance, it was never like the women in family don’t have a say in things or are forced to learn cooking and embroidery. But it took me a bit of rebelling to get my grandmother to understand that my cousin brothers can serve themselves food and desert and don’t need my special assistance. Of course, she knows I won’t be participating in this behaviour but it doesn’t stop her from making men feel domestically challenged. My mom on the other hand gives two hoots about these things and she doesn’t even realise that her upbringing made her daughters relentless women! Like most of us, Parineeti Chopra too has seen sexism up, close and personal at home.
The actress who plays the role of a woman struggling with sexism in our patriarchal society in Sandeep Aur Pinky Faraar said that it reminded her of the small town life she had. Parineeti revealed that it was men who ate first and women weren’t allowed to eat until they were all done. In fact, they weren’t allowed to eat until the men went to bed. She revealed that things weren’t different in her household either.
I mean, firstly, what are these men? Gods? Secondly, if you can only eat after they go to bed, mix sleeping pills in their food! Best! I mean, what is this derogatory treatment women get? The thing is many women pass the same instructions on to their daughters and bahus. The reason they give is that as women you must serve them and put them before you. Many women make fresh phulkas in the kitchen and keep them coming while the men eat. It’s like they want to do this, please do it as individuals; stop dragging all women into this behaviour.
Parineeti Chopra revealed that it’s not like her father made her mother do that. But it was “an unspoken rule” in their house. Maybe it was passed down from generations there too. She further pointed out how in a particular scene in the film, all men are seated and women are standing, including Neena Gupta’s character. “She’s so used to the patriarchy that she’ll never ask Arjun’s character to pass the pickle, but she’ll ask me why I’m seated,” Parineeti explained.
ALSO READ: Parineeti Chopra Says Actresses Have To Change The Narrative Of How Women Are Portrayed On Screen. Hear Hear!
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In fact, Parineeti Chopra pointed out that when contractors are working in her house, they don’t listen to her. “People have become so immune to the patriarchy that they don’t even think about it. Women in India face this every day. When I’m getting my house renovated, the contractors don’t talk to me properly because I’m a woman. They ask if there’s someone else at home they can talk to. I say, ‘No, I bought this house, I’ve made the payments. It’s mine so I will choose the tiles.’ When I tell them to talk to me, they refuse. This film has a lot of similarities to my personal life,” Chopra told Film Companion.
We are so socially conditioned to give more weightage to men, their opinions, their voice that even our uproars against inequality fall on deaf ears!