Put That Cupcake Down, Girl! Here’s How To Heal Yourself When You’re Hurt Or Sad
I know sometimes all you wanna do is escape – from reality and problems but most importantly, from your ability to feel. Because emotions are inherent to you – feelings, love, empathy – that’s what you are made of. And even though, with every disappointment, your heart hardened around the corners, the centre is still soft like a delicious coffee mouse and you’re willing to take that leap of faith, again. You are sensitive but you know you are a tough one and you bounce back, each time a happiness famine strikes.
You believe in loving, in happiness and your pursuit of it has never been half-hearted or lazy. But then again, your sensitive nature sometimes hampers your emotional stability. You feel trapped in an amalgamation of feelings that don’t do you any good. Whether it is a loved one that hurt you or if that crush isn’t giving reciprocating your desire to commit; whether it is the overwhelming gap in your mindset and that of your parents, or simply just the anxiety rising from the uncertainties in and around us – sometimes our emotions become sore with the abrasions from our insecurities and disappointments.
When I was younger, each time I would be hurt, I would reach out to my bestie. If my boyfriend wasn’t the cause of it, then I would seek his warmth to make it all okay. But here’s the thing – boyfriends break up, best friends get busy and family may not always get you. So honestly, I don’t think it is advisable to be dependent on an external source to make yourself feel better. You should be able to heal yourself, even if nobody is there to cheer you. Here’s how you can heal yourself emotionally.
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad
No, you’re not a weak woman. It’s natural to feel the way you do. Grieving is okay – take your time to process your feelings. Be vulnerable. Write all of it down, if you must. However, know that being sad doesn’t mean that you will continue to be so. If you love yourself, why would you like to see yourself unhappy? Be fierce and go get that dose of happiness. Put the ointment of healing on your emotional wounds and watch your soul bloom.
It’s okay to seek comfort
Now, I may sound like I am beyond digging into guilty treats but trust me, when PMS hits, you’ll find me in the kitchen eating all the carbs I can get my hands on. I reach out for a bowl of my favourite cereal when I feel very upset and honestly, that’s okay! We need comfort in such times. Enjoy your favourite tub of ice cream, have that cheesy pizza, pour yourself a glass of wine. Yes, that may not be the best advice if you’re going to overdo it but in moderation, it will make you feel better. You can also indulge in self-care to soothe your senses and spend some quality time with self.
Do not let your self-worth flicker
Understand that healing isn’t acting like you’re not hurt. It is acknowledging your feelings, embracing them and knowing you can walk right through them. When I feel sad, I tell myself that it’s okay how you feel and it will get better. I empathise with the person who hurt me. They must have not intended to do so or came with their own emotional baggage that has made them the douche they are. They too need to heal. I accept that I cannot control another person’s behaviour but I can control my response to it. And I refuse to attach my self-worth to another individual’s behaviour towards me. I will not make myself suffer because someone else couldn’t see me for who I am. Once you keep that in place, it will become easier to heal.
Take a break
Tend to your mental health. It’s okay to take a break and pause. Yes, there are people who went to work even after someone close to them passed away. And there are people who choose to allow themselves to heal. Do something, don’t do something – there are no rules. It’s important to nourish yourself and fulfil your needs, even if all you want is space and slowing down. Take your time but know you have to bounce back as well.
ALSO READ: 5 Ways Forgiving Will Help You Heal Better. And It Definitely Doesn’t Mean You’re Taking Them Back
It is scientifically proven that decluttering helps reduce stress and so does physical activity. When I feel sad, I clean my room and it is so therapeutic. I find pleasure in organising things, decorating, etc. I also feel an instant mood lift when I indulge in activities like dance and workout. Do what makes you happy – whether it is a physical task or a mental one. Self-care includes journaling, reading, cooking, listening to music, working out, pampering yourself, etc. I have also started writing notes to myself that essentially has me reminding myself to be strong and happy. It’s a good way to channel positive thoughts that manifest into actions.
PS: I am not speaking to those who are clinically depressed or going through any kind of trauma. This will only help a person to cheer up when they have been feeling hurt or sad.