Our Sex Drive Drops Around Christmas But We Get Horny Again Around NYE, Says Study
Your sex drive is much like your appetite for food. I love food, so much that if I am craving something I won’t stop thinking of it, till I have it. All those carbs and sugar-loaded dishes make my soul smile like a creepy child in a horror movie. Having said that, I don’t want to eat all day or have a huge appetite. I don’t want to end up getting stressed if I am not eating the entire fridge off in a day. So why do we feel so pressured to be sexing it up all the time? When we feel our sex drive dip, we get worried – why do I not want sex when it is just so good?
We assume it’s just us facing a dip in our libido and the world is out there grabbing any opportunity to have a quick romp in the sack. Let me stop you right there. You’ll be surprised that according to data collected from 5,00,000 women, three days leading up to Christmas is the most thanda for many. The study was conducted at Standford University which looks at our sex drive patterns especially in the holiday season.
The study also found that this lull continues all up to New Year’s Eve. And just when the year is about to end, we feel FOMO and get our sexy back on. People were reported to have more sex post-midnight on New Year’s. Yeah, don’t get too disheartened if you don’t. Maybe all that kissing at the midnight gets people going. Also, around 12 am people are drunk but not so drunk and they know the next day is going to be an off. Is there a better way to say goodbye to a year? Yes, if you simply go to sleep but then again, remember most people haven’t had sex in several days in this beautiful weather between Christmas and New Year’s.
But what is killing our sex drive when Christmas is such a romantic time of the year? Maybe you are looking at too many pics of your ex on social media. Maybe you have recently watched Kabir Singh and his libido-killing behaviour. But if you’ve done none of these (in which case, I will appreciate your choices) the team thinks it’s because of the holiday chores and well, gluttony.
What is killing our sex drive around Christmas?
There’s a lot of work you need to do around Christmas – the gifts, the tree, cooking/buying food and so much more. This is also a time when your social calendar is full. Unfortunately, this is also the time when work gets hectic as people are taking leaves and it means more pressure on employees present. All that tires us and by the time it’s Christmas, we don’t want sex; we want food and sleep and someone to give us a nice long massage while we sip wine.
Speaking of wine, your reduced sex drive around Christmas could also be due to all that food and alcohol we’ve been consuming. No, we aren’t camels and we don’t need a reservoir of liquids so stop drinking like you are creating one. Or do, what the hell, it’s December! But walk into gluttony knowing what you are prioritising. It’s wine and cheese over sex.
Stress, Body Image Issues And Sex Drive
Not a part of this study but stress, dissatisfaction with your appearance and difficulty with orgasm are the top three libido-killers for people according to experts. Considering this, it makes more sense to me that our sex drive drops on the days leading to Christmas. I mean, imagine working all day, having to socialise, and using all your free time to do chores around the house. Then making or coming across all these delicious treats and trying your best to not devour them all, in all that stress? That got to be exhausting. “Though I know of no research on holiday-specific sex, it’s fair to say that desire can be influenced by stress and poor body image,” sex expert Debby Herbenick, PhD, research scientist at Indiana University told Abc News.
You don’t have to feel sexy all the time
“There’s no doubt that some women experience low or no desire, and that this troubles them. That said, we need to be more critical about lumping women into low or no desire groups, particularly as some women are not distressed by their lack of desire,” explains Herbenick. He further added, “They may not have a particularly warm or kind partner, or they may be very stressed about work or family, or exhausted as they care for a newborn, and may well realize that there are times in life when sex takes a temporary backseat for a good reason.” Oh well, we all know somehow these responsibilities end up falling more on women because patriarchy affects Christmas too!
However, he adds that a temporary dip in sex drive is no need to worry. “We should challenge ideas that suggest that women or men should always want lots of sex, all the time,” Herbenick said.
ALSO READ: We Feel Hornier During The Festive Season, Says Science. Lust Is In The Air
Time off is conducive to sex
“For all locations, New Year had the highest magnitude increase in sexual activity. This was comparable to the increase in sexual activity measured in Brazil during Carnival and Valentine’s Day in the US and UK. Brazil was the country in which sexual activity was consistently higher around holidays whereas, France, the US, and UK had much more variation in sexual activity among holidays,” the study reports. We tend to start relaxing a little more post-Christmas as well as detoxifying from all the chaos and gluttony we indulged in.
“From this we infer that seasonal sexual activity arises from available time with sexual partners. The fact that there is more sex on weekends shows that having time off is conducive for sexual activity. In addition, romantic celebrations, such as Valentine’s Day and Dia dos Namorados (i.e., Brazilian Valentine’s Day) expectedly have increased sexual activity. This is in agreement with studies of sexual and reproductive health reporting an increase in sexual activity occurring around Christmas and other holidays and events,” the study concludes.
Thus, it is important to find some time of leisure in order to feel in the mood and New Year’s Eve gives us that. Just knowing that all we have to do is just party and chill and sleep till late the next day is relaxing enough. Until then, Psychology Today suggests you ask yourself a few things: “In what ways could you simplify the holidays in the service of pleasure and play? How about adding sex to your to-do list? How about at least talking together about what may end up taking a back seat until January?” Communication will help partners not overthink about the dip and mismatch (if any) in the sex drive.
