Narcissistic Men Are More Likely To Manipulate Or Force You In To Having Sex, Says Study
The thing about sexual coercion is that a lot of men think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Have you ever done anything sexually that you were not comfortable doing? Why? Your partner tried one or more ways of manipulation: emotional, insisting till you give in, or using it as a condition to treat you affectionately. You don’t need a psychologist to tell you that your partner is a narcissist f*cker. It’s obvious because he would rather get what he wants when he wants instead of being interested in your comfort and pleasure.
Honestly, it’s such a turn-off. Having dated one or two narcissists, I can vouch for that to be true. They walk into the bedroom, acting like they are doing it a favour by breathing the air that fills it. If you are in the mood to make out as well, you are looking forward to an exciting session except he keeps going for that thing that makes you uncomfortable. That kissing style you dislike, going for the third base when you’re not ready, asking you to indulge in a fetish that doesn’t sit well with you – whatever makes you feel like your boundaries are being violated, is not love. An intimate partner acting like you owe it to him for a “good sex life” is just not giving two hoots about you – a typical narcissistic behaviour.
According to a recent study, certain narcissistic behaviours were related to aggressive sexual behaviours. “Societal archetypes often lead us to believe that there is only one type of person who fits the mold of being narcissistic and/or being sexually coercive, and of course, this is simply not the case,” explained study author Kennedy A. Millward, a PhD student at the University of Texas at Dallas.“Given how complex both of these constructs can be, I was interested in seeing if certain features within narcissism relate differentially to different types of sexually coercive behaviors,” Millward added.
The researchers explored two dimensions of narcissism: admiration and rivalry. Narcissistic admiration pertains to exhibitionism and charm. Narcissistic rivalry is related to aggressive and defensive behaviour.
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They used an online survey to assess 1342 undergrad students for narcissistic personality traits and aggressive sexual behaviours. The researchers found that narcissistic admiration was associated with seductive behaviour and narcissistic rivalry was associated with both seduction and coercion.
People who said yes to statements such as “I deserve to be seen as a great personality” also agreed to statements such as “When I want to have sex with someone, I tell them what a wonderful lover they are.” On the other hand, people who agreed to statements such as “I can barely stand it if another person is at the center of events” also agreed with statements such as “I have gotten a little drunk and forced the person that I’m with to have sex with me.”
This means that while people with narcissistic admiration will manipulate you into having sex with them – by telling you how special you are, by charming the pants off you or showing a false sense of connection. People with narcissistic rivalry can do that or they can simply force you to do it with them because they want it. Of course, if you don’t give in they can gaslight you into believing you’re either boring or a horrible partner. That is if their narcissistic rivalry is mild. There can be far more severe ramifications.
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The study says “not all narcissistic traits inherently relate to dangerous or severely manipulative sexually coercive behaviors,” Millward explained to PsyPost. “Instead, whereas narcissistic rivalry (i.e., the darker side of narcissism) may relate to both mild and severe sexually coercive behaviors, narcissistic admiration (i.e., the brighter side of narcissism) may only relate to milder sexually coercive behaviors,” Millward added.
The study found that narcissistic men were more like to violate their partner’s boundaries than narcissistic women. “We did find that women with high levels of narcissistic rivalry showed slightly greater levels of sexual coercion tactics than men high in this trait — a finding that needs to be taken with a big grain of salt, given that it doesn’t necessarily align with the previous literature,” Millward said.
“However, some recent literature does suggest that there may be little to no gender differences in the perpetration of less violent forms of sexual coercion in some cases; thus, it is important to keep in mind that when a wide range of sexually coercive behaviors are taken into consideration, both men and women can be capable of engaging in such behaviors – at least when certain narcissistic traits are involved.”