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Men Who Judge Women For Having Sex “Too Soon”, Whose Hypocritical D*ck Participated In It?

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I am not someone who is up for meaningless sex. Not because I consider it to be immoral or something but because I consider myself a demisexual, basically a person who needs an emotional connection to be turned on. And if I do and I try to keep it casual, it never really happens. So you are cuddling, kissing the fuck out of you one night and the next day you don’t even talk like nothing happened? It messes up with my head because if I am sleeping with them, chances are I already like them. Anyway, since I know I am looking for a long-term relationship, I don’t seek anything casual. I can’t afford to mess up my heart and spend more time and energy into healing from it.

Even though I don’t do it myself, I never judge anyone else for having casual sex. Oh boy, if anything, I envy them, especially if they are doing it for all the right reasons. What’s a right reason? Feeling horny! When you’re on a date with someone and you feel horny and they feel horny and it seems like the right time, why shouldn’t you satiate yourself? It doesn’t degrade you. If you choose to have sex, it doesn’t make a woman low value.

Yet, the misogynistic mindset of our society says women who have sex early on are promiscuous. They are giving themselves too easy. They use pathetic quotes like, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Women are not cattle and such phrases doesn’t make it any better. So men who go around judging a woman on the basis of her sexual history or how soon she had sex with him are contributing heavily to the patriarchy in our culture.

So when a woman took to Reddit to talk about her boyfriend who has such a mindset, it got everyone quite riled up and comments poured in, warning her of this major red flag.

“We’re both in our mid 20s and have been dating for two years now. I’ll be honest – when I first met him (through mutual friends) I wasn’t really fond of him. He was a player and it seemed like everyone knew about his sex life and how many girls he was sleeping with. I didn’t dislike him but wasn’t interested either. After a while we got to know each other and he asked me out on a date (he was surprisingly sweet),” she wrote. They went on dates on and off and eventually grew closer.

“A couple of days ago we were discussing our relationship and he randomly confessed that he fell in love with me because I didn’t “put out right away”. I asked him to elaborate and he said that he’d never have a serious relationship with a girl who sleeps with him on the first date. Then he said that I didn’t have sex with him until 4 months after we initially met,” she revealed.

“He said that meaningless sex was causing him depression and he was worried that he would never find a girl to settle down with because they were always so “easy”. He literally said that he entirely judges a girl’s character based on how soon she sleeps with him after they meet,” she added.

Wait for it, there’s more blood-boiling content here! “I told him that there’s nothing wrong with a girl who wants to have sex early and that it’s fucked up to lose respect for her. He said that it’s “natural” for guys to feel that way and that he couldn’t help but think less of those girls. I was pretty shocked since he was so blunt and told him that his views on women and sexuality are very outdated and fucked up,” she explained.

The guy told her that she should feel flattered instead of being offended. Okay, so she should feel flattered that he judges women on their sexual choices? So here she is, asking netizens if she is right to be turned off by this.

“Would you be happy for him to be a father to your daughter?,” a user questioned. Another user added, “To add to this: would you be happy with him being a father to your son?” Honestly, if I am looking for a long-term partner, and considering I do want children, I really do care what values he’d bring home. The kind of environment a child is raised in has a significant impact in what values they possess as adults. I don’t want my daughter to think she has no bodily agency, or feel shameful about her sexual desires. And I definitely don’t want my son to consider equality unnecessary. All this is farfetched because I won’t last two months with a sexist man like that!

“I’m also willing to bet these aren’t the only fucked up views about women that he has,” a user wrote. Well, sexism isn’t selective. If he attaches a woman’s worth to her being non-sexual and chaste, it says a lot about his overall views of femininity.

A man decided to weigh in too. “So, when a girl slept with me on the first date, I took it as a sign that she was really into me. (And, given our eighth anniversary coming up, I seem to have been right.) But if that’s not what he’s looking for, that’s not what he’s looking for, and it’s not our place to tell him what he should want. There is no “should” in relationships,” he wrote. “My question is, if he is looking for a woman who didn’t sleep with him on the first date, why did he sleep with all these women on the first date? He should have been all, “Sorry, but no, that’s a dealbreaker for me, I’m leaving,” every single time. So what he’s revealed is not that he is a man of principle: he’s a man of hypocrisy,” he added.

So what do we know? He is a sexist and a hypocrite! He is judging women for “putting out” within no time, as if it was not his penis participating in the sexual activity. You know, like men who criticise porn stars and sex workers and then go ahead to be a regular consumer.

ALSO READ: 5 Ways Casual Sex Can Hurt Your Feelings, According To Experts

We’ve been conditioned to feel guilt or shame after indulging in carnal pleasures. How many of us refuse to make a move because of what will he think? What if he thinks I am too easy? What if he judges me for making out with him on the first date? And then we hold ourselves back, bottle up our sexual desires and squeeze ourselves to fit into the suffocated boxes the society wants to restrict us in. spokeswoman Jessica Leoni told Mirror UK: “The clear message is that if you want to have sex on a first date, do it. We have all grown up about sex and only prudes are going to think any less of you if you jump into bed on the first night. We are leaving behind those old-fashioned attitudes where people are judged on their sexual behaviour.”

Me? I’d wait anyway because I don’t want to feel icky for having sex with a guy who has such a horrible mindset. It will take several showers to wash him off me. Yikes!

ALSO READ: Why Does Our Culture Make It So Uncomfortable For Us Indian Women To Have Casual Sex?


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