When I was a teenager or in my 20s, it was a time when love meant waiting days for a letter or that BSNL landline call, where confessions were scribbled on the last page of a notebook, and breakups—if they happened—came with words, tears, and closure. Today, in the age of digital screens, vulnerability often meets silence. Vulnerability = Danger, this is what I hear in my therapy sessions.
Ghosting, the sudden act of disappearing/disconnecting from someone’s life without communicating or explanation, has become the new heartbreak—and it’s colder than any goodbye. It’s the new norm.
But why do people ghost?
1. Emotional Avoidance
We are taught so many things in our childhood but we haven’t been taught how to handle difficult conversations, especially an emotional one. Ghosting becomes an easy way to escape confrontation, avoid feeling like the “bad guy or a bad girl,” or facing someone else’s emotions.
2. Shift being driven by technology
Dating apps, social media, and DMs have created a false sense of abundance. When people feel like there’s always someone “better” one swipe away, they stop valuing deep connection and find it easier to walk away without closure.
3. No Accountability in Digital Relationships
I see relationships starting digitally and ending digitally. The online world offers a protective screen. People feel less responsible for their actions when they’re not face-to-face.
4. Attachment Style wounds are real
People with avoidant or anxious attachment styles often struggle with healthy communication. Ghosting reflects a deeper fear of intimacy or a belief that they’re unworthy or incapable of healthy relationships.
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In Indian culture, we thrive on emotional connection and commitment. So, ghosting feels jarring. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a budding friendship, or a matrimonial prospect, the sudden silence leaves the other person stranded with unanswered questions. “Did I say something wrong?” “Did I do something wrong? , “Was I not good enough?”—these self-doubts begin to creep in, slowly eating away at self-esteem.
Ghosting isn’t just rude; it’s psychologically damaging. In today’s time, so many people are already battling insecurities, it becomes a silent trigger for depressive spirals. While uncomfortable conversations may feel heavy, they’re still a form of respect.
About the author:
Arouba Kabir is an Emotional & Mental Health professional and Founder Enso wellness.
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