5 Signs You Are Having Sex With Him Just To Keep Him Interested
While there’s a huge chunk of our population that isn’t having sex due to societal pressure, I believe another chunk is having sex due to all the wrong reasons. Why should you be physically intimate with someone? Because you desire sex or physical intimacy. That’s the only legitimate reason to indulge in coitus. Not because everyone in your circle is doing it. Not because being a virgin at 25 is considered a shame among wannabe cool squads. Not because that’s the only way to keep him interested. Definitely, not for that.
And yet, many of us so vulnerable that we fall for something like this. We meet a guy, who is refreshingly charming, has an amazing sense of humor, a very clean house and he even keeps the toilet seat back down. Where did you meet this gem? You start building a relationship in your head, picturing this man as the one that your heart has been seeking.
You start getting attached, and each time you meet him, you catch yourself looking at him. And it’s not like he hasn’t been looking back at you. He meets your gaze, and you can tell, just from that look in his eyes – which may be due to alcohol – but he likes you. He wants you and at that moment, you don’t care in what way. Maybe you just want to have fun too. But it takes no time for things to change before one person wants more. Are you that person? Are you doing it just so you can keep him around? It’s hard to consciously tell. But here five signs it could be the reason.
The only affection you get is during sex
You love the way he cuddles you. When you sit on his lap, you forget the outside world, and just for the night, you feel safe in his arms. That’s the only time you get affection because it’s not like you are his girlfriend. He doesn’t walk around holding your hand or brush a strand of hair off your face. So you sleep with him because you want his attention. It’s understandable, no doubt. But it will only hurt you in the long term.
You want more but he wants to keep things casual
He has clearly mentioned he wants things to be casual. And yet, here you are developing feelings for him. For you, your sleepovers are special. But for him, it’s just a night of fun, no-strings-attached sex. It’s fun for sure, but it doesn’t remain uncomplicated if one person develops feelings for the other.
Sex helps you escape the reality
When you have sex with him, just for a bit, you escape the reality of your situation. He gives you affection, you make love and it feels like you belong to each other. It feels you are in a relationship with him but are you? For a moment, your dreams seem to be real. But how many times will you have to jolt back to a not-so-pleasant situation?
But the next day when he distances himself, it hurts
The next day, you are still craving his affection. You got so much in abundance the previous night and it’s surprising how you can get used to his cuddles so quick. But the day comes and he is back to being distant again and it hurts. The sex feels wonderful at that moment, it makes you happy. And the next day, it makes you equally sad, or even worse.
You sext him so you can keep the conversation going
So what do you do? It’s not like you are in a live-in relationship with him. How do you get his attention? Why is he not texting you all day like you’d want him to? Well, because he isn’t your boyfriend. So here you go, trying to get his attention by flirting. One thing leads to another and before you know it, you are sexting! Anything to get him to talk to you, right? Wrong!
No judgment here but this is toxic to your self-esteem and you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak. So cut it out. Have sex only if you want it, not to keep a man who doesn’t want you.