It happened while I was planning a special Valentine’s Day for my long-distance boyfriend while he continued to not participate in the hype, it hit me: Why was it so important for this day to feel special? Was it the FOMO, the dopamine, or just the feeling of feeling special and loved on a day? Love itself is a complex, deeply personal emotion, yet on February 14th, it becomes strangely performative, amplified by grand gestures, extravagant displays of affection, and an unspoken pressure to partake in the ritual of romance. But why does love feel different on this particular day?
The Obvious, Social Conditioning
Ever since we saw our first Shah Rukh Khan film, we are made to learn that Valentine’s Day is synonymous with love. From films to peer groups to school, every direction in our lives forces us to feel that romance is palpably heightened. This psychological phenomenon is called classical conditioning—similar to how Pavlov’s dogs associated a ringing bell with food, we associate Valentine’s Day with love, grand gestures, and emotional intensity. The more we see hearts, flowers, and love-themed advertisements, the more our brains reinforce the connection.
The Expectation Effect: Are We Performing Romance?
When society collectively agrees that a day is special, we start to behave as if it is. This is known as the expectation effect—when people anticipate a certain experience, they subconsciously act in ways that make it happen. On Valentine’s Day, couples expect to feel romantic, so they put in extra effort: dressing up, planning surprises, and being more affectionate. As a result, they actually do feel more in love—not necessarily because their emotions have changed, but because their behaviours have.
The Role Of Dopamine And Oxytocin
While we may think, Science also plays a role in why love feels more intense on Valentine’s Day. Romantic experiences trigger dopamine, the brain’s pleasure chemical, making us feel excited and happy. Add oxytocin—the love hormone released during physical touch—and emotions become even more heightened.
When couples engage in romantic activities like candlelit dinners or gift-giving, their brains release more of these chemicals, reinforcing feelings of attachment and happiness. In other words, Valentine’s Day doesn’t create love—it amplifies it through psychological and physiological triggers.
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The FOMO Is Real!
For singles, Valentine’s Day can feel like a stark reminder of their relationship status. Social media is flooded with couples posting grand romantic gestures, triggering FOMO—the fear of missing out. This can lead to heightened feelings of loneliness or even rushed romantic decisions.
Even for those in relationships, there’s pressure to perform love correctly, if that makes sense. The expectation to plan a perfect date or give the right gift can create stress, making some question whether they’re doing enough. This pressure can either enhance or strain relationships, depending on how couples handle it.
So, Is Love On Valentine’s Day Real?
Well, yes and no. The emotions we feel on February 14th are real, but they are often heightened by psychological conditioning, social expectations, and commercial influences. Love doesn’t magically intensify on this day—it’s simply amplified by external factors.
While Valentine’s Day can be a fun and meaningful celebration, real love isn’t defined by a single day. Romance is in the everyday moments—beyond the roses and candlelit dinners.
Also Read: Check Out These Valentine’s Day Memes On Twitter That Have Us ROFL