The Birds And The Bees: Are We The Reason Behind Slut Shaming?
In our childhood, we all have at some point, asked our parents how we were born and following the initial hesitation, surprise and ignorance, this question led us to the metaphorical ‘birds and the bees’ talk i,e. sex education. The birds and the bees is the traditional way of making the children aware of what sex really is and how you safely engage in the exploration that comes with it.
This story actually explains sexual reproduction with the help of natural facts based on sex education. The bees represent men since they carry and deposit pollen, and the birds represent the women, who lay the eggs. This creative little tale is an analogy to ovulation in females and sperms in males. Sounds like an adorable way of imparting much-required wisdom, doesn’t it? But, does Sex Education in India follow a similar and proactive pattern?
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Sex Education In India
In India, the parents for many generations, have avoided sex talk and topics surrounding it because either they themselves were not educated properly or it is considered a taboo topic within their household. This cycle of shying away from ‘the talk’ has had serious repercussions on them as well as their future generations.
In the households or schools where the children were explained about this very natural and biological need, these kids weren’t told how natural it is. Instead, there have been some subtexts attached to the conversation like, how sex is wrong before marriage, how it’s immoral, unethical, and very dirty. The children have also been taught that sex is just performed with the goal to reproduce.
Alas, this conditions the child or adolescent to not accept and appreciate the biological changes in their own body and instead, they experience shame during puberty and later, during the very act of sexual intercourse. Do you see the ironic cycle? These children just grow up into their own parents and then, they avoid having the ‘talk’ with their kids. Sucky, huh?
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What Does This Type Of Sex Education Lead To?
This ineffective sex education leads to the attachment of shame and guilt to biological processes like sex. Sex has been the most censored topic in our society, even more than women themselves. Sex according to society should only be performed when it is socially sanctioned,i.e. after marriage. And society doesn’t rest after we are married, they associate the idea of sex being performed only for reproduction. This whole idea isn’t natural to humans but what has been ingrained in us by our parents and others. This was the bird and the bees talk that we Indians have received from the past generations.
Now, that the traditional rules and ideals were set by society, we were all expected to follow them and, if god forbid, someone dared to break them, they were instantly looked down upon and shamed. I mean, plenty of us have given in and called such people ‘dirty’ and ‘slutty’. Slut shaming is a cycle, it is built on the ideals the parents teach their children and they continue to slut shame other people; these children grow up to teach their children the same ideals and this painfully awful cycle formulates.
Isn’t it about time that we take a stand and break this cycle? In fact, people are walking in that direction, these days.
Taking A Step Beyond Slut Shaming
Nowadays, society is growing more accepting, warm and welcoming, people are teaching their children more about sex and the conversation has started. Women have been teaching their kids actual words for their sexual organs like ‘Vagina’ etc instead of using silly baby names for them. thereby, eliminating the shame associated with the same. There’s also an ever-growing awareness and need to eliminate the negativity around the word “slut”. It is now, widely acknowledged that slut shaming is wrong and disrespectful of people’s choices.
On the other hand, we condition our children to associate shame and guilt with sex, it is paradoxical to expect them to grow up to be accepting of sexual freedom and not slut shame. Remember, it is difficult to change a finished clay pot, it is at the stage when it is flexible and impressionable we should instil good values.
So, it’s about time that kids should be taught about sex and shouldn’t be left to their own devices to learn about it from porn, movies, peers, etc. They should be made aware of the fact that sex is a beautiful ritual and it brings immense pleasure physically and emotionally. We should tell them about how we reproduce and the fact that sex is immersed in pleasure.
Most importantly, they need to be educated on the ways to have safe sex and the most essential need for consent. Children should learn to be empathetic and sensitive towards each other and be accepting of their own and also other people’s sexual choices to disband slut shaming. This is what will bring a change in our attitude towards sex along with leading us and the future generations to be sex-positive and sexually liberated. Let’s make sure this happens, huh?
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