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4 Reasons Causing Vaginismus And Why It Makes Sex A Painful Experience For You

June 17, 2021 | by Mansi Shah

In the hallowed hallways of Indian society, we do not utter the word ‘sex’ though everyone has it. We may have a really large population but we love pretending, all around, that the babies are delivered by storks. Even if we finally come around to talking about sex, the voice of women hardly matters. Consent and things like vaginismus are brushed under the carpet, everyone pretending that such problems do not exist.

Vaginismus is a very real problem that makes not only penetrative sex difficult but can even make gynaecological check ups a difficult procedure for both the parties involved. With a condition like vaginismus, identifying the disorder is the first problem. Statements like ‘Sex will hurt’ or ‘Sex hurts all women a little’ make vaginismus a disorder that’s likely to be dismissed by most women. In fact, vaginismus is experience by a lot of women, making it one of the common disorders.

Because this is a disorder that is a psychosomatic condition, it requires work on several fronts to overcome. In this article, we cover the possible reasons that vaginismus may lead to painful sex.

Painful First Intercourse

If the first time you had sex was a traumatic experience, it can leave both physical and mental scars that require healing. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist, someone who has experience in dealing with sexual problems, to get to the root of this disorder.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is a horrifying ordeal any way you look at it. The mental and emotional whiplash of sexual abuse can extend for a significant amount of time and it’s important that you seek help for this.


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Fear Of Pregnancy

While you can always take steps to avoid a pregnancy, the inherent fear of pregnancy may be a reason for your vaginismus. You can talk about this with a partner you trust but do reach out to a medical professional for the help you require.

Social Stigma

In many cultures (like ours), there is shame and social stigma attached to having sex before marriage. When this is deeply ingrained into the fabric of the person, it could mean that having sex even in a trusting relationship becomes a cause of concern. The fear of people finding out or knowing is so crippling, it affects your ability to enjoy penetrative sex. This obviously requires talking through with a therapist and we recommend reaching out to one.

There are many more reasons vaginismus is a hurdle during sex. However, limiting the definition of sex to just penetrative sex is doing the act a great disservice. Sex can be enjoyed in many ways and this is just one.


Mansi Shah

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